It was a sunny day today and even though much of my day was quite fraught with emotion and turmoil, I did accomplish a lot. I think it's very therapeutic, particularly when aspects of life seem to be spinning out of control, to bring some order into your world by tidying, organising, and making a ritual of creating a new altar.
I started with the cupboard (aka closet) in the hallway. It's a combination towel storage, medicine chest and clothes hamper. (There's not a lot of space in this flat). I started by taking all the towels out and refolding them so they fit nice and tidy in the shelf. The next thing I knew something came over me and I had to drag everything out of the closet, sweep and dust it, put it all back, then I pulled all the drawers out and dumped the contents into the hall floor and started sorting. You would not believe how much junk I threw out -- half a black sack! Expired medicine, useful items like the instruction manual to electric kettles and old phone books, you name it, it was in there. I then got the bright idea of labelling everything (I have tubs with labels on them in the kitchen, and that really works well). So I labelled it all up. I did the same thing to the plastic drawers in the bathroom. This took the better part of the morning. In the process, I found the hammer (I thought we had one, but I haven't seen it in years), a box of small nails and some pictures I've been meaning to hang for the last couple hundred years. So I actually hung them. (The owl over the altar space, we actually just bought yesterday. Isn't it awesome?)
I'm trying to introduce colour into my life. Year before last, I went on holiday with my friend Chloe of Inner Whispers, and I told her then that I love colour and sparkly things, and would like to wear colour. 'And yet you are wearing grey and black,' she pointed out. We were looking at beautiful, long flowing wildly coloured dresses in a shop in Matlock Bath, and I was wearing a grey smock top and navy blue leggings. The intervening months and years haven't been the most conducive to personal expression. They've been mostly about survival. That's why I was away from this blog for so many months. I got rid of so much of my stuff and was so close to packing in my entire personal practice. As it is, it's just evolving. And part of that is getting some light and colour into my home. I've chucked out the wretched blinds and hung net curtains in the living room and bedroom. I removed the cream coloured duvet set and bought a patchwork pattern one. I had my heart set on some lime green curtains but alas, ended up with taupe (no green available). Still, there's a lot of colour in the bedroom now compared to how it was before.
Then I went out to try to find some new trousers...I was unsuccessful in getting new work trousers, but I did get two pairs of leggings, a bright yellow tunic top with blue flowers on it, a T-shirt, and a pair of those patterned trousers that are popular at the moment in a blue, black and white print. They're super long. I may have to get some platforms. At my height, platforms will put me at 6' tall. That ought to make me feel powerful! (If I don't break my ankle).
When I got back from shopping, I cleaned out the closet of all the clothes that no longer fit (a lot of them -- I've packed on a lot of weight in my dark months) -- another black sack full of junk gone from this flat. Clearing out is good.
This week I'm using Tarot of the Sidhe (Emily Carding, Schiffer, 2010). For today, I've drawn Dreamer Prince and Maker King:
He dreams of more than any could know
But they are seeds he cannot sow,
His winged thoughts fly upon the air
Never to land within a prayer...
All he has he makes his own,
Carpenter of his own throne,
Smith who forges his own crown,
And earns his status and renown.
-- Emily Carding, Tarot of the Sidhe LWB