Like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel

CBD Tarot, Ben-Dov 2011

Hm, lots of wheels this week, CBD Tarot turns up the 2 of Coins, following on from yesterday's Wheel of Fortune.

Ben-Dov says:

Duality. Two options or two elements. Collaborating while keeping distance. A winding road, advancing in complex ways. Recognition and acknowledgement.

Yesterday I was miffed at my mortgage adviser for sending me a condescending email reply to my asking him to explain why he'd selected a particular insurance provider instead of some of the ones with better reviews on Which? It was uncalled for, to say the least, but I have merely asked again for more information about the product he's chosen. If he remains unwilling to explain himself, I will have to assume his main motivation is lining his pockets with my commission and not helping me understand why I should buy his product,  and I'll just have to select my own cover as most people do -- on the internet. But the Wheel will come back up in my favour again, and it might be that doing my own insurance actually is in my favour.

Some 2 of Coins affirmations:

"I celebrate my growth and power." Angel Paths

"Every problem is just an opportunity waiting for someone." Key-Hypnosis

"I flourish in the tide of change." Machelle Earley

"Act happy." James Ricklef

Those are all very interesting takes on a card that shows balance, movement and exchange in the realm of money, security and the material world.

(Title reference: Windmills of Your Mind song lyric)

Confronting the stalker cards

'Stalker' cards are those that keep turning up over and over, no matter what deck you're using, what question you're asking, or sometimes even what person you're reading for! The lovely and wise Pearl Annie shared a technique for looking at stalker cards (she calls them 'cards that haunt me') in a group on Facebook called The Tarot Readers Development and Study Group. She shuffles her deck thoroughly and then divides it into five piles to determine what plane of existence the stalker card is attempting to deal with: Fire, Water, Earth, Air or Spirit.

I thought I'd just try that with my two recent stalkers, Knight of Wands and Chariot.

Three cards into the Fire pack, I found the Knight of Wands. I placed the two cards before him face down above the Fire pack, and placed him on top of them facing up. Then after two more cards, I found the Chariot! So I placed it and its previous cards below the Fire pack. 

(It doesn't matter what order you put them, that's just the order I said out loud as I laid them out so I stuck with that, even though normally I would have done Fire - Water -Air - Earth - Spirit. It's early, and I am a witch of dismal memory.) 

Both cards have fallen in the Fire pack, which comes as no surprise at all, but you never know until you ask. Knight of Wands is a Fire card of course, being Wands, and its elemental affinity is Air, so he is Air of Fire. The Chariot is a Water card, associated with the moon and Cancer. It's action that they're calling for, both in thoughts and feelings. I should act on thoughts and feelings, and not just think or feel them. 

I thought it would interesting to take this technique a bit further. What would happen if I looked to see what cards fell in the same spot in the other packs? Would that give me insight into how to support the Knight of Wands and Chariot across all planes? How can my other aspects aid this one that wants so much to come out?

I counted down into each pack and repeated the laying out of the cards as I did for the Fire pack:

Aiding the Knight of Wands

Fire - Knight of Wands, Water - 9 of Wands, Earth - Queen of Wands, Air - 2 of Cups, Spirit - 8 of Wands (confession, the 9 of Wands and Queen of Wands came out reversed, but I turned them over for the photo, so I'm going to read them reversed). 

I can aid the Knight of Wands' manifestation by watching out for feelings of being judged by others, being more sympathetic and forgiving of my physical body and habits, sharing ideas with others, and engaging in a daily spiritual practice. 

Aiding the Chariot

Fire - Chariot, Water - 7 of Wands, Earth - World, Air - 9 of Cups, Spirit - 2 of Pents Rx (confession, 7 of Wands was reversed so I will read it that way.) 

I can aid the Chariot's manifestation, again by avoiding defensive reactions, glorying in my physical self (note the glorified naked form in the card), thinking about where I am satisfied and successful, and accepting that being alive means not always (or even usually) feeling anything like being on an 'even keel'.

In summary 

My stalker cards want very much for me to make progress. The other cards show the blockages to these cards -- possibly they are the real reasons the stalkers keep stalking. They're not waving but drowning, as the poem says. They're stymied by attitudes in the other planes. The cards are telling me to stop seeking balance and get on with things. Lighten up. Stop looking for perfection in myself or my methods. Just DO something. Knight of Wands and Chariot will be satisfied if they see me do something, anything. So stop telling myself it won't be good enough.

Good insights. 

Of mopping and ABCs

Housewives Tarot

What is the single most important thing I can do today to improve my feelings about my life, ie, to increase my self-acceptance?

I can make my mind up: am I going to continue to sweep up the dirt, or am I ready to do some deep cleaning? When I make that choice, I will feel more balanced despite the pressures of daily life.

Actually, I am ready to change some of the irrational beliefs that have kept me trapped in certain patterns of behaviour. I am tired of sweeping up after them. I'm ready to get rid of them.

To be honest, this draw reminds me very much of the ABC analysis used in Albert Ellis's REBT therapy. You need to use analytical skills to identify irrational beliefs underlying an emotion, action, behaviour or physical symptom. Then you challenge that irrational belief and replace it with a more effective belief. (A - the activating event, B - beliefs about it, C - consequences of those thoughts about the event, D - dispute the beliefs, E - effective beliefs to replace the irrational beliefs)

I have used these techniques to combat anxiety caused by my tinnitus and dental phobia. I have used them to cope at work during my icky secondment. I even, though not consciously, used some of the techniques in coping with the first shock of what happened at the end of last year in my family situation. But I have never yet applied them to my codependency and perfectionism issues. I only thought of doing this while researching my new program, which is SMART Recovery. Well, I have toyed with it, but I haven't attacked these problems in a serious, methodical way using these techniques. I've just been sweeping up the dirt, trying to make amends to myself and others after the fact, and using recovery techniques that felt to me rather like sweeping things under the rug--or even sweeping them up in a big fat pile that I could then sit and look at while waiting for the Big Broom in the Sky to descend and sweep them up for me. Don't get me wrong -- a whole ot of those techniques have been extremely helpful, I could just never quite settle in to some of it. Not a good fit. For me. Now I would like to make a start on actually mopping the floor. Enough playing in the dust. (I'm keeping the broom, though.) 

Even after I mop up the floor (dispute and replace irrational beliefs consistently and methodically), life is not going to suddenly become peachy keen. It will still be a balancing act, like it always has been. But my redefined beliefs about it will help keep emotional collapse at bay while I'm balancing plates and being tugged in different directions.

Learn to release -- time to drop that sack

I rarely post about oracles because to me, oracles tend to be straightforward, personal messages. There is not a lot of interpretation involved, whereas of course tarot cards are so full of esoteric symbolism and associations that they could be discussed and written about forever (and hopefully will be!).  Today's draw from Conscious Spirit Oracle by Kim Dreyer (2013) gives us an affirmation:

'I release that which does not serve my higher purpose with gratitude and love.'

What unwanted clutter is holding you back from your full potential? We've all got it. It's just a matter of realising you're holding on to it. 

This reminds me of a story I read somewhere. A man is walking down a path, carrying a huge sack on his back. The sack is quite a burden; he's nearly doubled over. The man stubs his toe on a rock in the path and stumbles. 'Oh, idiot,' he says to himself. He stops, picks the rock up, smashes himself in the head with the rock and throws it into the sack. He continues down the path, trips on another large rock. 'Stupid! Stupid!' he mutters, stops and picks up the rock, smashes himself on the head with it and throws it in the sack. He does this another three or four times and finally a second man who had been standing on the road side observing this (the man with the sack wasn't able to move too fast or get too far for obvious reasons!) finally steps into the road. 

Sherlock Holmes Tarot Week - Balance

This is a puzzling card from Sherlock Holmes Tarot, Two of Deduction, or 2 of Pentacles. As is often the case, Sherlock himself, in his top hat, looms large in the image. The man in the background with his hand on Holmes' shoulder is Inspector Lestrade, who also features as the Fool in this deck. Apparently he is holding Holmes back from charging forward.

Now I suppose this is a very subtle representation of the 2 of Pentacles (or in this case, Two of Deduction). Keeping balance, handling challenges, coping. Staying on an even keel. Lestrade is helping Holmes stay on an even keel here.

Holmes looks pretty intense in this card, but actually the 2 of Pentacles is about balance. It's like a mini-Temperance card.

I'm glad to see this card today, because I'm really not feeling up to any drama. The card suggests I will be nicely busy today and I will balance that business well. Good. That's what we want on a Thursday.

Does she look playful to you?

The companion book to the Druidcraft Tarot suggests that the Twos are about balance, a 'dance.' The Two of Pentacles, the book says, is about approaching balance with 'trust and playfulness'. Well, now, that doesn't quite seem to match the image on the card here. The lady in the image is standing on a rocky shore, wearing a very serious-looking gown, and a very serious-looking expression, juggling two pentacles whilst a very serious-looking shipwreck in a storm is happening right behind her. That isn't very playful, if you ask me.

Today I receive training on a tedious bit of work that is going to make up the bulk of my work for the rest of the month. So in order to keep my head above water, I suppose I am going to have to learn to balance the tedium with, as the book suggests, a playful attitude.

I still don't think she looks very playful, though! Though I suppose juggling while a ship sinks is a kind of playful thing to do. Or 'Foolish'. Or maybe just oblivious. Or possibly desperate.

Building on firm foundations

Oh look, it's Two of Pentacles again. After yesterday I could use some balance. I felt a bit out of sorts all day. But today I'm going back to work (after 4 days off in a row--something I'm not used to!) and I will fall back into a routine. I hope my routine will be more balanced than it has been in the past. Maybe today will be the day I finally go all day without eating any sugary or fatty treats.

I like the way the plants in this card are putting their roots into the ground. It is important to remember that balance is based on solid roots, firm foundations. What firm foundations do I have that I can build on? --

I have a supportive husband who does not try to undermine or sabotage me when I want to make changes. (I know that there are husbands who do that.)

I have a regular income. It's not much, but it's reliable.

It's about balance!

My patience for this deck has worn quite thin, so it's a good thing this is the last day of Titania's Star Tarot. We have Two of Pentacles here, a card which normally represents (to me at least) achieving a balance in life. To Titania, all 2s are about work, and she says they mean as follows: 2 of Wands - business including scientific and rational thought, 2 of Swords - burn-out and fatigue, 2 of Cups - enjoyment of work, 2 of Pentacles - 'hard work that brings out its just rewards.' Well, I give up. What's the bird all about, then? Why is it yellow? I don't know and Titania's not telling. So I will just have to go with my own interpretation of the card today, since Titania's interpretations don't make any sort of sense to me at all, and say that today will be a day when balance can be achieved. Conditions are right for achieving equilibrium, and that's a good thing; I have been trying to get some aspects of my life to come into balance today. Today may be a day when I do a bit better. :)

Stones and stripes

This card from Haindl Tarot (Lotos 2002) always makes me think of striped pyjamas, which makes me think of 'The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas', which makes me think of World War II and prisoners in concentration camps. It's awful, I know, but it's what I thought of the first time I saw the card. I later found out that the deck creator, Hermann Haindl, did spend time in a Russian prisoner of war camp. I have no idea why I've always thought of these things, but I'm pretty sure Haindl probably had no such thing in mind when he created this card. Rachel Pollack's guidebook explains that actually this image comes from a detail of a painting by Haindl of the Greek God Dionysus, 'from a section of the painting meant to indicate harmony.' She goes on to explain that the pattern seen here is like the lines of a tallis, or prayer shawl worn by Jewish men. So there's some sort of connection going on in there...

Anyway, leaving aside my odd associations, this certainly appears to be a card about balance. The two stones are balanced, the dark and light stripes balance one another, and there's a dark area in on the lower right side of the card contrasting with a bright area onthe upper left side of the card. These things remind me more of the juggling man in the RWS 2 of Pentacles than of the Golden Dawn title, 'Harmonious Change'. But I guess when you think about it, for a change to be harmonious, all its elements would need to be in balance. It's lack of balance that causes conflict, or disharmony, so actually it does make sense.

Actually, balance has been a lot on my mind this morning, so this card is a good one to draw today. Pollack says this card can represent working together harmoniously, especially in business. I would add that because this is the pentacles/coins/disk suit, it also has to do with aspects of physical health, and it's in that area that I'm seeking some 'harmonious change'. 

Step lightly, step sure

Cosmic Tarot (the hair is a free bonus)

Yesterday I spent so much time online trying to figure out what to do with my piddling little amount of savings. It's sort of comical, really. I have not got much a nest egg, and there is so little incentive for saving these days, it's like trying to select just the right   bean from a bag of dried pinto beans. What's the difference? But, I selected and applied for an ISA to transfer my little nest egg to, to try to wring as much as I can get out of it, bless it's thumpin' gizzard (as my mother used to say).

Anyway, after all that plodding (not to mention the two workouts I did, having not worked out to speak of for months, which I'm sure I'll be paying for when the 24-hour mark rolls around), the card is telling me that today is a day to measure my steps. Take care. Be balanced in all things, particularly in things to do with the physical, material, financial planes.

It's kind of interesting how this earth card is so dominated by water, and even the boat in the background has a spiritual symbol on it. Also interesting how there is no line of division between the water's edge and the shore upon which our hero is taking his careful, Daniel-san style steps. (Daniel-san from Karate Kid...or maybe Wai Chang Kane from Kung Fu. Or just any cool but slightly pretentious guy you see doing tai chi in the local public park).

Gosh, there's lots of stuff in this card to speak to us of balance in the spiritual and material planes. In fact, there's stuff to represent all 4 elements, though I guess fire is a little lacking, apart from the sunlight and the spotlights that are appearing under our hero's feet, Michael Jackson-like.

The whole card seems to be asking me to be cool, take my time, and balance all aspects of the self. Well, that's a lot to ask a person on a Friday!

Boxing Day Bump

Servants of the Light Tarot, Aquarian 1991

Bump! Back down to earth we go on Boxing Day. The other day I heard on telly that from a kid's point of view it's the worst day of the year: 364 days until Christmas. Ha ha! When I drew this card today, it reminded me of bumping back down to reality. Bump!

The Servants of the Light Tarot (Aquarian, 1991) draw for today is Two of Spheres, or 2 of Pentacles. The usual RWS image shows a man juggling two giant coins or pentacles. In this image we see an arm holding a set of scales with two of this deck's glowing spheres balanced on each side of the scale. The cup on the left has the symbol for Jupiter , the lower cup on the right has the symbol for Saturn. Saturn is Time, and the laws of the natural world. Jupiter is our particular path through life, the way we pass Time's tests. The companion book says, 'Jupiter stands for Joy, Life and Wealth; Saturn stands for Death, Age and Want. Which will it be?'

I don't know if it's that simple, but I do know my weigh-in this morning was not good! The card suggests a little more balance is due today, but I have a feeling there'll be lots more nibbling of leftovers and Christmas pudding, so balance is going to have to wait.

Happy Boxing Day!

Where the Sea Kisses the Sky

Book of Shadows, LoS 2012

What a lovely card this is, the 2 of Earth from the Book of Shadows Tarot Vol 1 (Moore, LoScarabeo 2012).

The Earth suit in this deck corresponds with the Pentacles/Coins suit of a regular tarot, but there the resemblance more or less ends. The Earth suit is concerned with 'the magic of the natural world and our planet', according to the LWB. The 2 of Earth shows a pair of gnomes paddling around in the shallow rock pools near on the coast. The rocks around are dotted with starfish and other shelled creatures, and a blue hermit crab scuttles into the foreground. The lovely mottled lavenders and pinks of the setting sun reflect in the sea and the water.  The card shows a remarkable harmony between earth and water, sea and sky, landscape and living creatures. The LWB simply calls this card 'The Beach.'

Hubby and I love our yearly coastal walking holidays, and this card is very evocative to me of the beautiful scenery we have enjoyed on those visits to the coast. I like the holiday feel of the gnomes wading, exploring and just dipping their feet in the water. That's what we earth-dwelling folk do when we get to the sea. We dip our toes in, dig around, wonder at the strange critters we encounter, climb and clamber and gape at the vastness of the sea, the majesty of the sky, the antiquity of the (seemingly) everlasting rock. A visit to the beach can be a very spiritual experience.