A reading in the park

Chloe and I were sitting under a tree today in a local park. She'd just done a reading for herself and she suggested I do a draw she'd read about from Lisa Eddy:

'What truth will set me free?
How will it first piss me off?'

You can see I have drawn Moon and 10 of Cups.

So... what truth will set me free -- confusion, murkiness, something hidden. I was perplexed.

'Life is murky that is just the way it is. Learn from the murkiness, like the crayfish emerging from the depths,' Chloe suggested. 'Out of the mud, the lotus,' I put in, 'and all that malarkey,' I added, waving my hands around. She laughed.

We turned our attention to that 10 of Cups -- the same card I drew yesterday morning. 'It will piss me off because life isn't "Leave it to Beaver"', I said. We stared at the card. 'And I'm not June Cleaver in her string of pearls. This card shows how things are supposed to be -- perfectly clear, a nuclear family, a rainbow, a little house, and everyone happy. It pisses me off that life isn't like that? But I'm one of the most cynical people I know -- I thought I'd dealt with all this already.'

'Maybe it pisses you off that sometimes life IS like that,' Chloe suggested. Brief silence.

'Or maybe there are still things that I expect to be perfect and clear, and it pisses me off that they aren't. I will revisit this later,' I said.

And now it's later, and now a more literal interpretation seems plain.

We went to the Staffordshire Pagan Conference today, and obviously I had expected a certain level of competence from the event -- I had, after all, drawn the 10 of Cups yesterday and sung 'Good Day Sunshine' in anticipation of the event. Yesterday WAS  a fun day in Lichfield. It's a pretty city, and we had a nice meal out.

Then today, we arrived at the venue for conference and there was no signage, no greeter, nothing! But we asked around and found it upstairs.

The venue was set out with chairs facing a stage in the middle, flanked on either side by rows of vendor stalls. Behind the audience was a bar, and behind one row of vendor stalls, a food stall. Everything in one room! This did not bode well, but as Chloe pointed out, we've been to tarot conferences with stalls in the room. It can be done. (Though the addition of a food stall and bar is questionable!)

The organiser did nothing to establish order at start time, he did not call the room to attention, he did not ask participants to find a seat in the audience, and he did not say anything about refraining from shopping the stalls until breaks and lunches. So no one listened to him introduce the first speaker, they just carried on jostling each other at the stalls and talking and laughing loudly. No one listened to the first speaker, who rambled on without once trying to get the attention of the room. We couldn't hear a thing.

I went and complained to the organiser who apologised, but suggested that people would be quieter for other speakers. I suggested it was very rude of them to carry on ignoring the speaker like that. He said he would try to get them to be quieter. When the next speaker was up, the girl who introduced her asked for quiet 'as the speech progresses', but the noise had not died down to indicate anyone was listening to her introduction, and it didn't die down for the second speaker's presentation, either. Couldn't hear a thing. Members of the audience were getting up and wandering away, and by this time they'd opened the bar! Raucous laughter, people getting sandwiches, people milling around the stalls, an echo-y microphone and presenters showing no skills in controlling an audience -- it was nerve wracking. We couldn't take it so we left at 11.45!

That's how we ended up in the park, on a beautiful day, doing tarot readings, a much more edifying experience by far.

So yeah -- murkiness and confusion is a truth about life. I wanted to learn something today, I wanted to hear something I'd never heard before, I wanted some nugget of truth or bit of information that could lead to something new for me. And it didn't happen,  and that did piss me off. But you know, the truth about life is, sometimes sh*t like that just happens. In fact, it happens an awful lot. Things that ought to be good turn out to be disappointing. It pisses you off because you can see how easily it could have been made better, but it wasn't. But you know -- them's the breaks as they say. And if nothing else, today was a lesson in patience, and rolling with it. That includes unnecessarily long wait times between train connections and disappointing porridge. LOL

Oh no! Are you going to make me talk to people?

Yesterday's draw indicated a harvesting of work stability, and that was applicable as I sought advice and support from senior members of staff. That turned out not quite as expected; the lady I wanted to talk to was busy, but I talked to someone else senior. Chloe suggested 'making the cut' as an interpretation, and I did have some of my ideas praised and suggested to be adopted and rolled out across the service.

Today I've drawn three cards and look what's popped up again:

Wings of Change Lenormand by Chloe McCracken (self-published 2015)

Its romantic artwork notwithstanding, the Moon card remains for me the work card.

I have drawn Snake + Moon + Garden. I'm seeing this as a message that transformation at work depends on social networking. I think it's telling me to nurture the basic social aspects of my relationships at work today and take the focus off work targets. That makes sense. I am extremely focused in this particular workplace on the work, and forget to talk to people about 'other stuff', the social niceties, finding out about their lives or just engaging in friendly banter. Friendly banter is not my forte. I strongly identify with the Queen of Swords, and there she sits, Queen of Clubs, the Snake. So now I see, Queen of Swords at work needs to be more social.

All right, all right, I'll have a go.

A new program

The Golden Tarot - Visconti-Sforza Deck, Packard 2013 

Question: Tell me about the new program I've begun to explore.

This new program looks very positive indeed. The time of my embarking on it coincides with (or this new program ushers in) the start of a period of smooth sailing, a stable state of mind, overcoming of adversity. I've already done a lot of work, come far. This new program carries me further still toward new horizons.

This program fosters improved interpersonal relations, emotional expansiveness. It will help build ability to make the other person feel validated and heard.

And finally, this program will help shed some much needed light on things that have been hidden from consciousness, in the murky depths of the unconscious.

Can any program live up to such promises? Possibly. It is certainly worth a good hard look and a fair go.

Your Tarot Horoscope for the Month!

Legend Arthurian Tarot 

It's appropriate that the Moon card falls on today, the full moon -- and a super moon, the biggest one until September 2015! 

I feel a sudden impulse to do something new today, so I've done a one-card draw for you all based on your sign. This is your tarot horoscope from this full moon until the next on 9 September: 

Aries - Queen of Swords
You will be shrewd and insightful in your dealings with people -- or you'd better be! You will see the truth of a situation and will need to use your powers of speech and persuasion to get others to see it, too. 

Taurus - 5 of Pentacles
This is a great month for taking it easy on yourself -- you may have a tendency to compare yourself to others, worry about money, or feel generally down. Remember your blessings, because they are many! When you let up on yourself, you will feel much better. Take lots of nice hot bubble baths and be kind to yourself. 

Gemini - Page of Cups 
Life is feeling beautiful and amazing for you this lunation! Take advantage of it by getting out and playing with child-like gusto. You may find yourself entranced by a butterfly or falling in love with the dewdrops on a spiderweb. Indulge these moments.

Cancer - Temperance
Ahhh, sweet equilibrium for you this month, lucky you! Not too hot, not too cold, but just right -- life is feeling on such an even keel we should start calling you Goldilocks. Enjoy!

Leo - Strength
You've drawn your own card! And this full moon was in Leo as a new moon. It seems it's your time to shine. :) 

Virgo - Moon
You may find yourself feeling puzzled by events in your life. Go within and you will find the answers you seek -- though they may be a little bit scary, it's good to face the 'monsters of the deep'. 

Libra - Sun
Things are so obvious to you in the coming weeks! The light of clarity is shining itself at last on something you've been wondering about. Don't miss the opportunity to act on that clarity. 

Scorpio - Judgement
There's something you've always wanted to do but were just waiting for the right time. It looks like now is the right time! Take the first steps this week. 

Sagittarius - World
In the coming weeks, you will find yourself feeling a deep sense of connection. Breathe deep and enjoy that feeling. Let yourself become expansive and replete with it. Wallow in it. 

Capricorn - Hierophant
Whatever it is that has been troubling you, now is the time to seek out advice from the experts. Read a book, visit a doctor, or talk to a friend who's been there. You will make better progress than you have done on your own. 

Aquarius - 5 of Wands
Your projects are beginning to feel like a bit of a battle. Nothing huge, just a constant bombardment of little annoyances. These will probably continue over the coming weeks, but remember -- they're character building! And once they're sorted out, they probably won't be back. 

Pisces - 7 of Cups
This is a time of dreaming. Why not make a dream board, start a new Pinterest board, or write in a journal about all the things you'd like to manifest in your life? Dream, dream, dream! Now's the best time for it. 

And in honour of the full moon --

CLICK HERE TO BOOK A TAROT READING

CLICK HERE TO BOOK A LENORMAND READING

CLICK HERE TO ORDER A SPELL

Let sleeping dogs lie?

Thoth Tarot

It's the last week of my 2nd annual Winter Solstice - Imbolc Thoth-a-thon, and I've decided to use my borderless deck for it. I have three editions of the Thoth, my first, the small purple box one, then this green box one which I trimmed of all borders and titles and rounded the corners on, and finally my favourite, the beautiful, silky, deeply colour-saturated 1986 AG Muller Thoth in the dark blue box.

Today's card is Moon. It features some of the usual elements of a Moon card - a crab (in this case, a water spider/scarab creature) emerging from murky depths at the bottom of the card, rising up toward a path that passes between two dogs (in this case, Anubis), two towers, and toward a horizon and a large moon. In this card, Anubis, the jackal-headed god of the afterlife, holding his set of keys, a black dog at his feet, stands guard to the path. He is the Lord of the Place of Embalming, patron of mummification and the dead on their path to the underworld. He was the god of the dead before Osiris took over, when he became lumped in with the many sons of Osiris. He is a very ancient god. The scarab, as usual, is depicted with a solar disk between its claws, a symbol of immortality. In fact, he is sometimes known as Lord of Midnight Sun. Falling through the sky from the disk of the moon are nine red yods, from the Hebrew alphabet. Yod, the first letter of the Tetragrammaton (Yod-He-Vau-He), the name of God, is thought to be representative of a totality, the absolute supernal. This symbol drips from the moon toward the path up from the depths of the water, which the scarab beetle rises toward. It suggests truths revealed.

It is an appropriate card for me to draw today. Yesterday I spent a lot of time thinking about people, about our many, many layers and depths. I felt awe and even dread of the frightening complexity of our selves, how we actually seem to relate to one another, even to those we are closest to and love the most, on only the most superficial of those many planes. We may think we know a person, but we've only scratched the surface. Even after 20, 40, 60 years. Can we ever -- do we dare -- to uncover those many layers, reveal the truth of our full person and theirs, bring up into light our weakness, our pain, our hurt, our anger? I don't mean the passing emotions of a day, but the true depths. Can we ever know our own strength, nobility, higher nature, let alone anyone else's? Is it possible to uncover those depths within ourselves and our loved ones, without destroying ourselves or each other? Or is it better, or at least easier, to just keep things on familiar ground, an even keel, just stay at the surface level and let the other stuff roil on in the deep, undisturbed by consciousness? It would be beautiful to have the full diamond of self, its many facets, revealed to one another. We've been scarred by its very formation, could we ever endure the mining of it?  Could we then endure the radiance of it revealed? Or is this something that can only be done on another plane of existence entirely, beyond this earthly realm? .... I sense only the danger of the entire proposition, lately. And thus this card, of murky depths and foreboding.