I thought I'd do a general reading with the CC

Pearls of Wisdom, 2nd Edition (Roxi Sims) 

1. What covers me - 4 of Wands

2. What crosses me - The Star

3. What crowns me - Temperance

4. What lies beneath me - Ace of Cups 

5. What lies behind me - 7 of Cups 

6. What lies before me - High Priestess

7. Me - 2 of Pentacles 

8. My house - 10 of Cups 

9. My hopes and fears - 5 of Pentacles

10. What will come - Knight of Pentacles 

This is the Pearls of Wisdom Tarot, a favourite of mine. I'd like to refer to the book throughout for this reading. My current situation is the 4 of Wands crossed by the Star. 'Making plans which suggest a change in direction. Your actions are in harmony with the Universe,' the guidebook says of 4 of Wands. This is crossed by The Star, 'a card of great love, holding the impersonal forces of the Universe in balance.' This suggests that what I'm doing now is for my greatest good. I'm doing okay. And the things I'm thinking of doing are also okay, and will move me in the right direction for me. 

I am crowned by Temperance, I am 'blessed to be in harmony with the Universe' and 'taste of the Divine leading [me] to greater discoveries about [my]self.' And my foundation is the Ace of Cups, 'a clearing and/or cleaning is taking place.' We see the figure baptising herself in the water -- washed clean of the old emotional junk and ready for new feelings and experiences. 

Behind me is confusion -- 7 of Cups, a card which denotes distraction and indecision.  'It is possible that these dreams are a result of your saboteur, the part of yourself which judges you bad or guilty.' So behind me is confused thoughts based on my saboteur. In some ways, at least. :) 

Before me lies some work plumbing the depths of myself, the High Priestess. I have some soul-searching to do. 

I am a fountain, you are my water, 

I flow from you to you.

I am an eye, you are my light, 

I look from you to you. 

You are neither my right nor my left, 

You are my foot, you are my arm as well.

I am a traveller; you are my road. 

I go from you to you. 

                            --Zeynap Hatun (quoted in Pearls of Wisdom LWB)

Meanwhile I am the 2 of Pentacles, seeking balance. 

My house is in good order, where there is 'happiness and harmony' and 'more than enough love'. Things have seemed very good of late. Not perfect but good. 

Of course, my hopes and fears are of avoiding lack, 5 of Pentacles. Especially in the face of attempts at change, I have fear of lack and loss. 

Finally, the outcome of Knight of Pentacles suggests slow and steady is the only way to proceed, methodical, patient and organized. I like that advice anyway. 

Come hear the music play

Click the card to hear the song

What good is sitting alone in your room?
Come hear the music play.
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,
Come to the Cabaret.

Put down the knitting,
The book and the broom.
Time for a holiday.
Life is Cabaret, old chum,
Come to the Cabaret.

Come taste the wine,
Come hear the band.
Come blow your horn,
Start celebrating;
Right this way,
Your table's waiting

No use permitting
some prophet of doom
To wipe every smile away.
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,
Come to the Cabaret!

I used to have a girlfriend
known as Elsie
With whom I shared
Four sordid rooms in Chelsea

She wasn't what you'd call
A blushing flower...
As a matter of fact
She rented by the hour.

The day she died the neighbors
came to snicker:
"Well, thats what comes
from to much pills and liquor."

But when I saw her laid out like a Queen
She was the happiest...corpse...I'd ever seen.
I think of Elsie to this very day.
I'd remember how'd she turn to me and say:

"What good is sitting alone in your room?
Come hear the music play.
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,
Come to the Cabaret."

And as for me,
I made up my mind back in Chelsea,
When I go, I'm going like Elsie.

Start by admitting from cradle to tomb,

It isn't that long a stay. 

Life is a Cabaret, old chum, 

Only a Cabaret, old chum, 

And I love a Cabaret!

~Fred Ebb & John Kander

Tap dance on a floor tiled with sky and a bottomless pit. You can do anything! You've walked through the door between the impossible and the possible, between doubt and fearlessness. You've got the keys to the kingdom, lady! 

(Okay, I know the song contains a lot of desperation and nihilism, especially as intrepreted by Liza Minelli, and doesn't quite fit the card, but...I love Liza and the card reminds me of the song. ;) )

So today, may I dance, in a good way. 

One plus one is one?

Today's card from Roxi Sim's Pearls of Wisdom Tarot is The Lovers. I quite like this card. The two lovers have become one, entwining together and turning into a tree. I think the image of a tree is a lovely one to symbolise strength and steadfastness and longevity. These lovers become a tree, with a complex root network penetrating the earth. There are little mushrooms sprouting up from the roots, and to me they represent a sort of rebirth or the life cycle. They also look a bit phallic. Also seen in the card is the pomegranate, which I associate with fertility and sensuality. However, the card also points to separation, as the lovers in the tree seem almost engaged in a struggle, and their shoulders and heads pull away from each other. The tree is also in autumn leaf and shedding leaves, hinting that earthly love by its nature cannot last forever, as our physical bodies inevitably decline and die. But then, there are the mushrooms again, reminding us of the life circle. 

Most of the cards in the deck feature strings of pearls, which to me symbolise tears shed in this life--both happy and sad ones. The pearl strands in the card are embellished with yin yang symbols, opposites attracting and mingling.

The card speaks strongly to me of both togetherness and separateness, and reminds me,

for some reason, of Kalil Gibran's The Prophet, 'On Marriage':

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

The card can be seen as a celebration of love and partnership, but also a warning not to lose oneself in the process. Are they one, or are they striving to be one and separate at the same time? Are they in a passionate embrace, or are they sharing the throes of inevitable death? As Forrest Gump says, 'I think maybe it's both. Both happening at the same time.' 

May I remember not to lose myself in my relationships.

Messing about in boats

Today's draw from Roxi Sim's Pearls of Wisdom Tarot (7th House, 2008) is The Fool. Dressed as a court jester and in a boat called 'Serendipity', the Fool here is doing the impossible: floating upstream while going downhill. Heading right toward a rock, the Fool is oblivious, although the dog at least seems to be paying attention. The Fool carries a sack printed with the alchemical symbols for earth, air, fire and water, a detail that can be seen in the close-up of the sack featured in the frame of the card.








Roxi's usual personification of nature can be seen in the card: the tree seems to have a face (although it looks more like the scrunched up faces of the trees in 'The Wizard of Oz' than the sort of happy tree one might expect to find on the Fool card. But then, trees are wise, so maybe he knows something the Fool doesn't know.). In the background, to me, the hill looks like a woman asleep on her side, facing away from us. The water is her hair, then you can see her green shoulder, dip of her waist, and then her hip. Nature is often depicted as a sleeping woman in these cards. Perhaps it is meant to speak to the benign presence of Gaia. She's always there in the background, no matter what action-packed adventures may be going on in our lives, and she knows none of it is anything to get too over-excited about.

So there's certainly an element of danger and in the card, but it is outshone by the positivity of the imagery. Yes, the Fool does seem quite ridiculous and foolish! But she is trusting that no matter what things work out for the best. That's why her boat is called Serendipity. The full blazing sun and the rainbow are very positive and full of promise. The bumblebee is a nice touch. There is a myth that 'science has proved the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly', while of course the bumblebee can fly. And this has come to take on special meaning to people, the idea of doing the impossible because you don't know it's impossible. (For more on the bumblebee myth, try Flight of the Bumblebee, Lasers Illuminate Flight of the Bumblebee, or Is it aerodynamically impossible for bumblebees to fly?) Wherever I see bumblebees on Roxi's Pearls of Wisdom cards, I take this message. Things that seem impossible may not be impossible. You don't know until you try. Then of course, there are the more familiar butterflies standing for transformation and growth.

All cards in the Pearls of Wisdom deck contain runes.  On The Fool, she uses Wunjo (left side) and Berkano (right side--she calls it Berkana in the companion book). Wunjo is the symbol of joy and Berkano is the symbol of rebirth and renewal. To be honest, I ignore the runes when I use these cards. I haven't been able to get into runes yet, but it's something I'm interested in, vaguely.

The card carries the usual message of the Fool, throwing oneself out into the world without overthinking or worrying, enjoying the moment and the journey, and trusting that all will be well.

May all be well for me and all beings today.

I woke up this morning wondering why I'm not making progress on the goals I set for Aug 2011 - Aug 2012. I made a 90-day plan and was diligent for the first few days on some of them, but others, I've either made no progress or actively worked in the opposite direction.

I was going to put this down to natural human rebellion against discipline. I often used to think that it was a childish response to authority, even my own. You tell a kid to do something, he bullishly will refuse to do it, or might go off and do the opposite, just to spite you. It's not personal, just his way of asserting himself as an individual in a world where he feels powerless. Seems ridiculous to do something like that to YOURSELF!  But then, people are pretty weird. I've often used this explanation of my actions and those of others.

This morning, though, I read something that made me look at it in a different light. It is the concept that wherever there is suffering (or unskillful actions), there is compassion, though most of the time somewhat twisted by the confused logic of ego and the process of ego. This comes from a book by Daniel Ingram, with the wonderful title, 'Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha: An Unusually Hardcore Dharma Book'.

'It is common for people to feel bad about their lack of progress. This can cause them to feel extremely frustrated, and produce all sorts of self-judgement...' The author goes on to advise us to use insight meditation to pinpoint the sensations of the emotion, its location in our bodies, its duration, and so on. Here's the kicker:

'Now, find the compassion in it. Take a minute or two to reflect on why this particular sensation seems to be of some use even though it may not seem completely useful in its current form. Is there a wish for yourself or others to be happy in this sensation? Is there a wish for the world to be a better place? Is there a wish to find pleasure, tranquility, or the end of suffering?

'Notice that fear has in it the desire to protect us or those about whom we care. Anger wants the world to be happy or work well or for justice to be done. Frustration comes from the caring sensations of anger being thwarted. Desire is rooted in the wish to be happy. Judgement comes from the wish for things to conform to high standards. Sadness comes from the sense of how good things could be...

'From a certain point of view, we are all doing our best all time, and the problem is that we do not see clearly enough.' 

Ingram advises us to be careful of setting goals that are too future-oriented. He says that a good goal is method-oriented rather than results-oriented.  As this is a book on dharma, his examples are related to enlightenment, but I believe this principle can be applied to anything. He says the wish to become enlightened is a purely results-oriented goal, while the wish to deeply understand the true nature of the sensations making up one's world as they arise in today's practice or during today, would be a fine method-oriented goal. 'Purely future-oriented goals are at best mostly worthless and at worst very dangerous,' he says.

So I take out my deck and draw 7 of Pentacles. What is happening in this card? Are the figures reading a book about gardening? Are they sitting in a support group talking about why gardening is so hard for them? Are they scribbling journal entries about how they want their garden to look in 2012? Are they chanting affirmations about what great gardeners they are? No...they're working in the garden. And it's not a neat, orderly work method they're using either. It's all over the place. They've got bare fresh-tilled earth, which they're planting with seed, but also there are flowers in full bloom in the same plot. The tree is in full blossom and green leaf but also has ripe fruits (the coins) AND dead leaves falling off it at the same time. There is sowing, growing, harvesting, and fallowness all going on at the same time here. Progression toward a goal is not straightforward. But no matter how convoluted it gets, it's not because you're a bad person. It's because everything you do or feel, comes from a place of compassion and a good wish for the world. It just gets a little twisted in the expression because we don't realise that's what it is, and are busy judging ourselves or others through the filter of our egos. But look at these guys. They're not worried about their egos. They are IN THE MOMENT. Fully accepting that this garden doesn't make any logical sense. Enjoying the fruit. Even messing around and having a laugh about how silly it all is (see how the guy is tweaking the booby of the tree...ha!)

So, the card is saying, work in the moment. Keep your goals in the moment. They will lead naturally to a future-oriented goal. And along the way, don't judge yourself, but recognize your ego-twisted logic and its expression. You didn't eat the apple pie or fail to do your sitting meditation because you have a rebellious spirit. You did it because in that moment you wanted to be happy, to enjoy, and because you were not fully present in that moment and had no clear idea of what you wanted to accomplish in that moment. Can I stop and ask myself, what is my goal in this moment? How is what I'm doing coming from a twisted version of compassion? What would be a more skillful act of compassion in this moment?

May I be mindful  of my actions in each moment. May I realise that the garden of my life is not linear and that's okay.

'Taste the rainbow...'

How about a little colour today? This card is from the Pearls of Wisdom Tarot by Roxi Sim (7th House Publishing, 2008).

What a perfect card for today! I'm off work, got the whole day ahead of me...other than an appointment to get my hair cut at 9.30, I have no obligations at all. I am free to daydream, relax, enjoy the hours as they pass. I can fill them with anything I like, or nothing at all. This my day to refresh myself, a day of love (symbolised by the hearts) and renewal (the butterflies). The cups are filled with water, air, fire, and shooting stars! It's a card that tells me not to worry, to just enjoy everything today. No goals to meet, no promises to keep, no expectations to fulfill.

This is the second edition of the Pearls of Wisdom Tarot, which I'm told is bigger than the 1st edition, and also has dark purple borders, while the 1st edition had white. I got this deck in a trade with someone...I can't remember what I traded for it. I think it was Housewives Tarot. That was a great swap for me, because I really disliked Housewives (I thought it was going to be kitschy fun, but it ended up, to me, to be caustic and flippant), whereas I've loved Roxi's deck from the moment I opened the box.

The story behind the Pearls of Wisdom Tarot may be familiar. The artist, Roxi Sim, came to paint the deck after suffering a debilitating illness and losing her son, her mother and both parents-in-law in the span of 10 years. She went into a deep depression and painting this truly uplifting tarot deck was, as she put it, her 'art therapy to paint her way out of depression'. She painted it whilst living in the Caribbean, over seven years. Each card is a complete riot of colour and nature imagery. Most cards, if you look closely enough, show nature personified, usually as a green hillside depicted as a sleeping woman, in the background of the card. I love the naive art style and vibrant colours.

I feel the need for some colour in my life lately. I think I'll draw from this deck for the next few days.