Honouring the deep

Tarot of the Hidden Realm, Llewellyn 2013 

At least in this pip card from Tarot of the Hidden Realm, there are ten items that could count as pips (doesn't happen in a lot of the cards in this deck). The old man holds a gigantic coin, and then there are nine standing stones in the background.

In the companion book, Barbara Moore weaves a story around this chap, that he has visited these stones on a regular basis to honour his ancestors. 'He finds comfort and peace in repeating the same acts, chanting the same words. Each time he comes he brings a token of thanks for the past and a request for the future.'

The 10 of Pentacles traditionally represents legacy. The elemental dignity of Pentacles is Earth, which represents the material plane. The elemental affinity of the number 10 is also Earth. Thus, 10 of Pentacles is Earth of Earth, a card of material abundance, deep connections to the past and future through the physical line of the family, deep stability. Rather than depicting a grandfather with his progeny in the background, here the old man is backed by stones representing a line that goes much, much further into the past, into the earth itself. The stability of the card is represented in the story of the man finding comfort and peace in the ancient stones -- talk about stable, they've been there for thousands and thousands of years! -- and the stability he finds in his repeated ritual of visiting them.

You don't have to have close ties with an extended family to enjoy the deep peace of the Ten of Pentacles. It's actually a feeling that runs much deeper than family ties.

I'm noticing how many times I've used the word 'deep' in this post. Back and back and back it goes.

On a mundane level, the 10 of Pentacles could just be a reminder to examine your own deep connections today. What do you feel reverent toward, what deserves honour from you? Have you acknowledged it lately?

Golden cornucopias

Sacred Rose Tarot (US Games 1982)

A cornucopia of abundance is what I have drawn from Sacred Rose Tarot (US Games 1982) today. The RWS and Thoth versions of this cards are noted for the Tree of Life configuration of the Pentacles, and we have an echo of that here. It's a little squished but I think you can see that the artist is acknowledging it.

What does the Tree of Life have to do with the Ten of Pentacles, though? It suggests that this card is to the tarot minors what the World card is to the tarot majors. (It's also interesting that the the Ten of Pentacles is the only card in the pack that depicts the Tree of Life in its entirety.) In some ways, the Ten of Pentacles represents a culmination of all the work that has gone before. It is like a payoff, or a reward. The results of previous actions or events, and fortunately, the results seem pretty positive!

This card invites some questions:

What have I accomplished thus far in my life? (or in this week, this day, this project, this issue?)

Where have I come from?

How have I triumphed? What lessons have I learned?

What is in my life right now that could be considered a reward?

What are some things that I may not recognize as a culmination of what has gone before? How are they that?

If I step back and look, what 'big picture' can I see that normally I do not see? What connections can I make today to help me join up some of the dots in my life (or my situation, my feelings, my issues).

What is there in my life that I can feel proud of and satisfied with?

What is there in my life that makes me feel secure, grounded and contented?

Have I acknowledged and given thanks for those things?

The Hamburger Moment: A Reading

An article that's making the rounds on Facebook caught my eye the other day:

The Hamburger Moment: I wasn't treating my husband fairly and it wasn't nice

I recognized a lot of my own patterns of behaviour in that article, and not for the first time. I know from experience that I am not the only woman who tends to come down very hard on her partner for small things. I've listened to women complain to each other vigorously about such sins as leaving wet towels in the floor, not opening the hamper but leaving clothes on top, and putting toilet paper the wrong way round. I have certainly seen a lot of this sort of behaviour on TV shows like 'Everybody Loves Raymond' and 'Home Improvement,' etc (forgive my ancient TV references, I don't watch a lot of sitcoms anymore). I guess we've been doing this crap for a long time; it's even mentioned in the Bible: 'A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand' (Proverbs 27:15-16). Ha ha!

I don't have a clue about the bigger picture of why there seems to be a pattern of women nitpicking. Maybe it has something to do with some underlying pressure to be perfect ourselves, imposed on us by cultural and societal expectations, maybe it's learned behaviour from watching our mothers, don't know, but what I do know is I can try to recognize and address this sort of thing in myself. Better late than never. So here is what I asked:

1. Why do I slip into the habit of constant fault-finding in my husband? 

2. What is the best course of action to address this? 

3. What is the biggest challenge in this course of action?
4. What is the biggest support?

5. What is the outcome? 

I then pulled 5 cards and examined them:  7 of Cups - 2 of Pents - 10 of Swords - 10 of Wands - 6 of Cups. I was getting an impression of the reading, but decided to pull clarifiers for each card in the spread (not something I usually do) and laid them in a second row beneath: Sun - Ace of Wands - High Priestess - King of Swords - Queen of Wands. Each card I laid down felt like 'Boom! There it is!' They just solidified the original draw so well. Let's take them in pairs. 

 I do this because of deceptive, destructive fantasies of perfection. It's not just him I hold to these unconscious rules, it's the entire world! I've been reading a lot about irrational beliefs that underlie our unhelpful responses to life, and I've identified several from a list produced by Albert Ellis (12 Self-Defeating Beliefs). The ones at work here seem to be:

*People should always do the right thing and when they don't, they must be punished.
*Things must be the way I want them or life will be intolerable.
*My unhappiness is caused by things outside my control, so there is little I can do to feel better.
*Every problem must have an ideal solution, and it is intolerable when one cannot be found.
*To be a worthy person, one must succeed at what they do and make no mistakes.

I have no idea how these irrational rules and beliefs become embedded in us, but I have found that when I feel upset about something, if I have a look at these lists, I can usually quickly identify the irrational belief or demand that is causing the discomfort. It is rather uncanny. So what's the best course of action?

To create 'a partnership working with proper energy flow and support', I must remember that 'mood swings may threaten stability' and that 'anger and not fully understanding the consequences of actions' will break down the balance. (The quotations come directly from the LWB of the Sacred Rose Tarot deck. It's useful to keep and to check the LWB! Sometimes what you find there is spot on!)

The key here is to learn to catch myself between the irrational belief and the consequences (that's the exact term used by Ellis -- fits, doesn't it!) of that belief. It's almost impossible to do that, so the only way you can change a habitual response is by doing what Ellis called ABC analysis (see previous blogs here and here). Over time, with reflection and by disputing irrational beliefs after the fact, the behaviour begins to change. That's the theory, and it's certainly helped with my tinnitus, so why not try it here.

The biggest challenge is of course rooting out and recognizing the self-defeating actions. That's reflected in the pairing of 10 of Wands and High Priestess. The LWB says there are 'excessive pressures and problems to be resolved' and that good judgement is based on 'logic and knowledge removed from the confusion of emotion.' That is precisely the process of REBT. It's not easy, it's hard work. So it's the biggest challenge.

The biggest support comes from the cerebral nature of the whole thing. This is the death of irrational beliefs and the meticulous re-training of the thinking needed to challenge and change them. If the King of Swords were to identify something as entirely self-defeating, he would be merciless in rooting it out. This is a good thing. When my King of Swords nature recognizes how illogical and pointless certain beliefs are, he simply won't allow me to believe them anymore. And when I don't hold a certain belief anymore (like 'people must be perfect and they if they make a mistake they deserve to be punished') then I won't react to events based on that belief anymore (like if my husband or I drop the cafetiere and break it, it is cause for a flash of anger and sharp words). -- If my underlying belief can be changed to 'People make mistakes and though it's inconvenient it is not intolerable and we remain worthy human beings regardless of our mistakes', then dropping the cafetiere would result in 'Oh crap, oh well.'

The outcome of attacking this behaviour using these techniques? I will become responsible (or accept responsibility for) my own emotions. This will allow me to access the better qualities of my Queen of Wands nature: warmth and affection coupled with authority and determination.


I then asked, 'What is the overall message to me about this issue?' and drew three cards:

It's up to me to recall the source of love and emotion and to exercise my free will in deciding how I will react, what path I will choose in response to the cycles of the day-to-day. There is always a choice in response to the Wheel of Fortune. May its genesis be love, and not flawed beliefs and unconscious rules. 

All images in this post are from Sacred Rose Tarot (US Games 1982). 

A long line of love

I love this 10 of Pentacles! It's so pretty! At the bottom of the card, we see the blooming roses and the living family, and then as you go upward, you see the previous generations, their costumes changing, their 'roses' growing paler and more abstract, flowing back into the cosmos. The spiral in the lower left corner represents, to me, the spiral nature of the passage of time. This 10 of Pentacles more than any I've seen represents its concepts of legacy so well.

Back and back we go, into the past, and while we all have looked at the world so very differently,  ultimately the same basic concerns were there - food, shelter, procreation, staying alive as long as we can. Staying together. We don't have to look backward to be aware of all that has happened before us, we can feel it.

As the song goes, we come from a long line of love.

Save now, enjoy later

Robin Wood Tarot 

Looks like a good result from yesterday's efforts at being the Empress!

Today's card from Robin Wood Tarot is 10 of Pentacles, the Lord of Wealth. This is the manifestation, or fruits, of our labours. It's the payoff for all that hard work. In the card we see three generations of a wealthy family, enjoying their lovely home and garden, surrounded by their faithful family pets. What a wonderful reward for the old one, and affirmation for the young adults, as well as promise for the future generations of this family.

Mercury in Virgo, as you can well imagine, enjoys structure and security. It can get nervous and high strung if things seem out of control or not going according to plan, but it doesn't panic - actually is quite good in a crisis, but just prefers stability.If there is a good solid plan and things seem to be going according to it, Mercury in Virgo will chip in with a right good will, which explains how all this wealth and stability has been amassed. A Mercury in Virgo type would have the patience to take a small amount of money and figure out how to turn it into a tidy sum through investment and business ventures.

The card is encouraging me to make positive choices, having done my research. Which is actually particularly timely advice right now, as it's time to select a new cash ISA to transfer my balance into! Well done for the reminder, tarot!

Safe beside the fire

I woke up quite groggy this morning and was having some sort of work-related dream, the details of which escape me. Last night I was in a mood of jittery unquiet, prompted by nothing in particular. I was in a fret because my new filling is uncomfortable and has ridgy bits on it, and because I have venetian blinds that get very grubby and are a pain to clean. I took one of them down and washed in the bathtub - what a palaver - and it still looks like a good place to grow potatoes. But what kind of stupid reasons are those to get ansty and fretty and depressed? I started to think about how lucky I am to lead a life wherein a ridgy filling and grubby venetian blinds could be a cause of distress. Then my guilt about that compounded my fretting. It was a stupidly hormonal evening.

But this morning I've drawn the 10 of Shields (or Pentacles), which deck creator Anna-Marie Ferguson associates with Camelot. I suppose you can't get a more idealized version of hearth and home than Camelot. It was certainly perfection, created in one night by Merlin, its great hall home to the famous Round Table, and the scene of many feasts and revels in the long, dark winter nights. To enter the beautiful hall with its colourful tapestries, blazing fires, roasting meats, minstrels, dogs, animals of many descriptions, lovely women, brave knights, and servants scurrying around -- it would have made the dangers of the cold and darkness seem very far off indeed. So I suppose the card is reminding me to look upon my secure reality rather than fear that which I am actually sheltered from. I hate the blinds - I have a bit of cash to buy new window treatments. I decide I can't live with the texture of this new filling - I can always go to a different dentist and get his opinion on it. I can fix these little troubles. The 10 of Shields helps put things in perspective.

The card from the Camelot Oracle today is Igraine. I liken her to the Queen of Swords. Traditionally she is the Duchess of Cornwall, seen at a party by Uther, who uses Merlin's magic to disguise himself as her husband so he can go and sleep with her. He wages war on Cornwall to win her, and she gives birth to Arthur, who is given to Merlin in payment for that magical spell. None of that is very Queen of Swordsy, I am merely going by the card image. This Igraine has a steady, knowing look. She has been through some things and has wisdom to share -- if she decides you deserve it. Her challenge to us along the Doubtful Path to the Hermitage is 'Where will your next steps lead you?' My next steps will lead me to work, where I am hoping to finish a bit early and return to my 10 of Shields fortress to relax and enjoy the evening. (And not fret about grubby venetian blinds, fat rolls or ridgey tooth fillings. Honestly. The things we allow to bother us.)

Livin' the dream?

Hezicos Tarot, Griffin 2010

Today's card from the Hezicos Tarot is 10 of Coins. I seem to draw this card a lot, no matter what deck I'm using. In this version, we see a happy family of little Hezicos people, standing outside their mushroom house. The house is reminiscent of childhood drawings which are said to communicate a stable home--if a child draws a house with a big door and windows, it means they feel there is openness and freedom in the family. If there is smoke rising from the chimney, there is security and warmth in the family. If two parents and children are present, there is a sense of wholeness. A path leading up to the door indicates involvement with others, and so on and so forth. Most of those elements are seen in this card.

Ten of Coins in its positive aspect indicates security, contentedness with one's day-to-day life. It also can indicate conventional thinking, comfortable routines. It does not necessarily show happiness or emotional fulfillment. It rather shows stability in the day-to-day, what might be considered 'routine contentment'. In its negative aspect, it might indicate that this routine contentment trumps the pursuit of 'true happiness'. After all, no one in the picture is really smiling. The children look shy and tentative, the wife looks up at her husband with a sort of proprietary pride, and to be honest he looks back at her with a rather weary expression. 'Domestic tranquility ..to ourselves and our posterity', as set forth in the Preamble to the US Constitution, that's what we see in the 10 of Coins. But who knows what's going on inside these people. (By the way, click that link and watch. It's ace! Huge influence on my childhood, that show...)


The Rider Waite Smith version of the card holds more of these subtle nuances of domestic contentment without much sign of a deeper emotional fulfillment. We seen generations of affluent people, but not much to show a meaningful connection between them, or any indication of the state of their inner lives.

It's good to consider both the usual positive meaning of a card and also its shadow side.

The 10 of Coins coming up for me so often seems quite accurate on both counts. I am, in the main, quite grateful and content with my domestic situation. On the other hand, the 'snug' situation I am in makes it easy to settle back, reminding myself to be grateful for what I have, and not do any reaching or stretching or risk-taking that might lead to a more vibrant inner experience.

Sample Super-Quick 3-Card Reading: Aquarian Tarot

A practice reading. Hypothetical querent looking for a general reading. Cold reading.

Aquarian Tarot, US Games 2006 (original 1970)

You seem to have got it in your head that there's no rest for you, that in order to create a decent home life you must constantly be 'doing' for them, sacrificing your time to their needs. You think it's only fair that the family come first and you come last. 

There is another side to 'giving' and a 'happy family' that you aren't seeing. You and your family would likely be more contented if you all spent some time thinking about others and not yourselves. Consider ways that you and your family can act together for the good of someone else. This would prove both relaxing and rewarding to all of you. 

If your first thought is, 'Oh great, here's something I'm going to have to organize and then make my family do,' then you really are mired in backward thinking! Involve them, and see what happens. They might just take the reins and you'll find yourself able to kick back and enjoy. They might even go out and leave you at home to take an actual nap.