The Queen of Cups? You're kidding, right?

Celtic Tarot, Davis 1990

I asked for advice on how to deal with work next week, and I drew Queen of Cups. My draw (based on a technique described by Espearite) suggests that before I can deal with anything else, I must start with this. Queen of Cups? Really? This is not how I want to deal with the issue that I had in mind. For one thing, I'm not the Queen of Cups--normally. Usually, I am Queen of Swords. (More on her later). But the draw advises me, the first thing I need to do to deal with this issue next week is to address the Queen of Cups. So, who is this woman, and why should I start with her?


All tarot queens are the element Water, and the Cups suit is the Water suit, so Queen of Cups is referred to as 'Water of Water'. It's a way of saying, 'Emotion-and-feeling of emotion-and-feeling.' Just from that phrase alone,  you get a strong notion of what this woman is all about. She's very sensitive--sympathetic--empathetic--and quite often 'pathetic', if I may say. She can be so into emotions, relationships and 'feelings' that she can get herself into all sorts of trouble--she can go all codependent on someone, she can be the victim of all sorts of abuse because she's too forgiving, she can take the blame for things onto herself, she can be a 'people pleaser', she can become so involved in nurturing others that she leaves herself out in the cold until it's too late. She might tend to look at a situation and wonder what she's done wrong to create it, and what she should do to make it right. She may become confused and upset when other people won't 'act the way they're supposed to.' 

Wait a minute. As I was typing this, it  has occurred to me why I have to deal with her. It's this side of the Queen of Cups in myself that has been exacerbating my problems. Something's been going at work for a long time, and I have invested way too much of myself in trying to figure out 'why'. Then I tried to be the solution, and thought that would fix it. I have taken emotional ownership of the problem onto myself, rather than setting boundaries within myself. Oh, I have set outward boundaries, behavioural boundaries, but I realise--I haven't yet set clear boundaries about this issue in myself. Emotionally, I must step back. I must hand over responsibility for this issue, in myself. Somehow, subconsciously, I have taken on a crusader mentality about this thing, like I could fix it for everyone, not just for me, but for everyone. Well, I can't. And I'm not called to. I'm only savaging myself. Nothing is being helped by my inner crusade, by my secret martyrdom. 

(Don't get me wrong, there's more to the Queen of Cups than just weakness. She has wonderful strong points. She understands where people are coming from. She can read between the lines. She is the one who often can see the truth of what people are feeling no matter what it is they're saying. She is the one who will take care of you when no one else believes in you anymore. She's a great mom, a great friend, a lovely human being. But...not in this case.)

So let's look at the Queen of Cups from Celtic Tarot. She's holding a cup, framed as usual in this deck by a rose window, and she's pouring liquid from a pitcher into the cup. On the table before her are cups that either she has already filled or that are waiting to be filled. She is dressed in a robe that flows right off the card. The table is decorated with animals carved in curves and flowing lines. Everything about this card suggests a ceaseless flow, an endless supply of nurturing flowing from this woman's heart and spirit. She has what you need in abundance. But she is in control of that pitcher. She can stop pouring when she needs to. 

Right now, this Queen of Cups needs to. 

Flower remedies suggested for this reading:
Centaury for a misplaced sense of service. The imbalanced centaury quality is to be a 'doormat',  the inability to say no, the sacrifice the self. The irony is, as is the case with most codependent behaviours, these sacrifices of the self are not welcomed and only serve to annoy the very people you think you're being a martyr for.  

Vervain to restore moderation, tolerance and 'the middle way'. The imbalanced vervain quality suffers from nervous exhaustion resulting from overstriving for the rightness and urgency of their beliefs.