What is the dragon that haunts you?

Chrysalis Tarot, Brooks and Sierra 2014

I've been off work for 10 days straight, on holiday. Tomorrow I have to go back to work. No surprise I've drawn the 5 of Spirals (5 of Wands) from the Chrysalis Tarot today, then!

I don't know why Sundays are usually miserable for me. I often feel grumpy, like a cloud of gloom is hanging over me. I guess it must be because the work week starts up again the next day, or maybe it's some residual guilt leftover from my Christian upbringing that I'm not in church -- though to be honest, I hated Sundays when I was a churchgoer as well. Even on perfectly pleasant days, there's always a feeling of gloom in the background for me on a Sunday.

The LWB of the Chrysalis Tarot gives this card the keyword 'Shadow'. It recommends that we 'shine the light of consciousness on your own shadows and subdue them'. That doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun for a Sunday, but obviously if you don't do it, your day is going to end up being even worse. Trust me, I know! 'Struggles customarily associated with this card are interior conflicts. With effort and diligence you'll vanquish any dragons that haunt you.'

The dragon in Five of Spirals (5 of Wands) perches on the cliff face above the abyss of the psyche, dropping his little love bombs of pain and confusion into the darkness below. Each one casts a shadow against the opposite cliff face. The dragon belches or vomits his sputum all over our bleak little souls -- nice, eh? It reminds me of the Beast from the PsyCards. Our poor little unsuspecting unconscious minds are being fed all this rubbish from the conscious mind, and they are defenseless! The unconscious mind cannot tell the difference between past, present or future, imagination or reality. It thinks all the fireballs we spit at it are real! Every negative thing we say, every negative image that crosses our mind might as well be 100% true and have actually happened as far as the unconscious mind is concerned. Poor little blighter.

So how to stop this dyspeptic dragon from spitting up into our pysches? The LWB says, 'The 12-petal lotus mandala provides an inviting focal point for contemplation.' Why, though? Typically, the heart chakra (anahata chakra) is thought of as a 12-petal lotus -- and this is the seat of love, compassion, acceptance, balance and forgiveness, not only for others but also for ourselves. It might be argued that our love, compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness of ourselves comes first, for without it, we cannot truly have it for others. The 12-petal lotus gives us a focal point for meditation, a lifeline for climbing up out of the pit of despond so that we can see the firebombs of self-hatred for the lies they are and let them fizzle out.

The next time you hear yourself saying or thinking a negative or judgemental thought about yourself, picture this dragon, and imagine the 12-petal lotus on his wing glowing and growing until it consumes the dragon, lights up the cavern below, and flies in a glowing ball of green light (the colour of the heart chakra) right into your chest, where it fills you with a glow of peace and radiant calm. The dragon carries on its own body the thing that will turn it from a bringer of discord to a bearer of light. You also have that same sort of equipment. Let's use it today. :)