Monday, 22 July 2013

Queen of Wands - Full Moon Reading

I had a reading at New Moon which suggested I need to make peace with my Queen of Wands qualities. I was able to recognize a few ways in which I embody Queen of Wands energy, but mentioned in that entry that it would be useful to do a reading to bring up further information. For Full Moon, I have shuffled the Sacred Rose Tarot deck and sought out the Queen of Wands (not pictured), then taken out the two cards that were to the left of the Queen of Wands (Hierophant and Star) and the two that were to the right (King of Swords and Sun). This is a further message about the Queen of Wands in me.

Sacred Rose Tarot

These are some really lovely cards from the Sacred Rose Tarot deck. I quite like all of them, and looking across the row of four, I am struck by the repeating pattern of the horizontal line of the pentagram behind the Hierophant, which is echoed behind the female figure in Star, and in the shape of the collar of the King of Swords. The pentacle even makes a subtle appearance in the Sun, the upright point in the form two spikey flower leaves and the horizontal line of the brick wall forming the top of it. It makes me wonder, how is the pentacle a manifestation of Queen of Wands energy for me? And I guess it could have something to do with me making peace with the pentacle itself as a symbol. It really used to trouble me, and I have no idea why, except for misconceptions about these things that I picked up growing up in the very conservative Bible belt of the United States. I learned about the pentacle, bought a couple of pendants, and it has come to be one of my favourite symbols. Wearing that jewelry was my first overt acknowledgement of my esoteric interests, and it suddenly occurs to me that buying and wearing it was a Queen of Wands thing to do.

To be honest, I see this whole reading pointing as well to my becoming a tarot reader. As a reader, I am seen as a guide in some ways, like the Hierophant, and my counsel is sought on matters of an esoteric, hidden nature (Star), to bring about self-realization or enlightened understanding of self (Star). My readings are written with the greatest clarity that I can muster (King of Swords) in order to help my clients find their inner joy (Sun). I cannot tell you how important it is to me to be able to provide this service for people; I take my role as a tarot reader very seriously and do my best to help my clients. I very deeply wish to help people through tarot.  And yet -- would I ever have had the first client, without the energy of the Queen of Wands? To help people, you have to reach out to them. You have to draw attention to yourself in order to offer services. Who else made me even think to put myself forward in that way? Would I ever have started a website? Would I have posted to it regularly? Would I have done any of these things, without the Queen of Wands?

And so I am reminded that one of the most fulfilling and meaningful aspects of my life is most likely down to the Queen of Wands within me. I should value her more. Definitely! And I should look for her in my heart and mind, and listen to her more, not shout her down, telling her she is too showy and self-aggrandizing. She may be bold, confident, assertive, energetic, and self-confident, but that doesn't mean she is automatically attention-seeking, superficial, vain, or self-absorbed. She CAN be, but it's not fair to think those are her default settings. Those are her shadow side, not the whole story at all.

The next time I have a thought or feeling that I might instantly reject--like thinking good things about my reflection in the mirror, or talking to people I hardly know, or yes even promoting my tarot business more--as attention-seeking or self-aggrandizing, may I recognize it as the positive aspects of the Queen of Wands, trying to do her best for me.

You know what, I'm feeling a lot more friendly toward the old girl these days. Who would have thought it?

4 comments:

  1. I remember your antipathy towards the "old girl" and have watched with appreciation your path towards acknowledging and valuing some of her traits within yourself. My praise is due not so much to the fact that I have always been a great admirer--indeed, an aspirant and student of--the four Wands court cards than to the fact that you have guided yourself from antipathy toward appreciation; it is due to the internal "work" you've done.

    Incidentally, if you want a prime example of how and why people value a Queen of Wands, look to gay/bi/trans men's culture, which has many "Queens of Wands" (women in popular culture and the public eye) as mascots and aspirational figures. The Queen of Wands is to die for not only because of her powerful personal magnetism and "hey world, look out, this is ME!" energy--which are both aspirational to those who have every reason to be fearful,cautious or "mousy" in our world around us--- but for her "Survivor" frame of mind. We all of us--whether fans or detractors of the Queen of W--know instinctively, without question, that she will not go down without a fight, and dammit, neither will we if we can help it.

    I have my own Court bugaboos: the Queen of Cups and possibly all of the Pentacles. I have always aspired towards and exalted Fire/Wands for several reasons--they are strong in my astrological profile, I used to be quite a bit more Fire-y as a younger person, and, let's be honest, Fire/Wands and their assertive, dominant, so-called "masculine" energy are greatly valued in Western culture. To not have those things in spades (no pun intended) has seemed to me to be a personal failure. I should be slightly less Swordsy and certainly less Watery than I am. Yet damnable Cups, not Wands, show up in my personality profile when I've undertaken those tarot personality typing questionnaires.

    With my cultural bias, I see Water as weakness and Fire as strength, and I often seek to get rid of my excesses in the former and somehow increase the latter. Ironically, I don't think that consciously planning how to gradually become more Fire-y is an activity very characteristic of the element of Fire and of people who truly are Wands-bearers. They don't stop to ponder; they strike immediately.

    Pentacles also trouble me because I am a deficient planner, saver and manager of resources.

    I should do as you've done and make a conscious path towards appreciating the element/Suit or Court card I don't value in myself. In fact, perhaps I'll make a spread about it...

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    1. Thanks for commenting, Chiriku. I am more Swords-y and Pentacle-y in my life approach. Love thinking and planning! It's a good point you make, planning how to be more Wandsy is not a very Wandsy thing to do! I have never been an immediate striker, though. So at least learning to say, 'Wait now. Before you make a bulleted list of why it's perfectly ridiculous to strike,consider striking!' is an improvement in the Wands direction. :)

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  2. Gah, I tried to post a comment earlier from my phone, which disappeared from the ether :(

    Just to say, so glad to see you befriending the Queen of Wands :)

    As for the pentacle, and how it connects to the Queen of Wands, I think she's not shy of making money, and of enjoying the physical world more generally - as you said about her sensuality and focus on body image. So, maybe befriending her could be positive in terms of eating/body, too...

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    1. True, true. If I can just get out of the habit of automatically assigning her superficial, contemptible motives for wanting material success and a fit body...

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