Bad things are happening and I have no control over them. But there are things I can control, and I am going to focus on those.
It's a very bad time, a traumatic time.
I decided to draw an angel card and it just stabbed me even more painfully, though I hope the message is true:
Sirian Starseed Tarot (Cori 2012).
Indigo Angel Oracle (Virtue 2013).
Just a Big Hug (((Carla)))
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ellen. :)
DeleteI came across this card last month when looking through the Sirian Starseed for the first time since January 2013, when I last used the deck. I didn't like the backdrop--it grosses me out--but I can see why someone could prefer the hovering spheres to the RWS' stabbing swords.
ReplyDeleteWhat you wrote applies to me, too, Carla:
"Bad things are happening and I have no control over them. But there are things I can control, and I am going to focus on those. It's a very bad time, a traumatic time."
The difference is that, unlike you, I don't have the skills to focus on the things I can control. When the fear hits, it's engulfing. My heart pounds, my breath constricts, and I can scarcely focus on reading the back of a cereal box.
I think perhaps your years of practicing meditative arts might be a big advantage over fear and anxiety. It seems to me that the ability to ground oneself and focus on the rational and good during a time of great mental anguish might be like a muscle that needs "working out" ahead of time if it's to provide adequate support when the time comes to do some heavylifting.
I haven't worked out that muscle at all and indeed have left it to atrophy. So when anxiety swirls around me, it's like quicksand: I struggle and it only pulls me in more.
I've begun investigating techniques and philosophies to keep myself from going under, but of course, those unexercised muscles have been quivering and giving way when a particularly potent episode of fear grips me. The only thing I can do is keep working at it.
If you want someone to work at it with, I offer my support, for whatever that might be worth to you, my friend.
Chiriku, I'm sorry I didn't see this post at the time. I was very unhappy. But thank you so much for your show of support. x Things are better now.
Delete(((Big hugs))) from me, too :)
ReplyDeleteThank you :D
Delete