A conversation with the cards

Drawing one question at a time.

Why am I so stressed out? 

10 of Wands - You feel overburdened. LOL. Wow, have you got your face in it. 

Yeah, thanks. Okay, why do I feel overburdened? 

6 of Wands - You want to be victorious. 

How is wanting to be victorious making me stressed? (Card jumped from the deck and flew behind the computer) 

Ace of Pentacles - Buying a house isn't a battle. There are no winners and losers. Buying a house is a financial commitment, an investment.

No one's going to buy the best house in the world (in your price range) out from under you and leave you the 'loser'.  Victory is not going to be snatched from you, because there is no 'victory' in buying a house. There is no perfect house. There is no best house. Every house is a compromise, and they're just buildings, after all. Just buildings. 

But it's a building I'm going to live in and pay for.  It feels like a gamble. How can I make this process feel less like a gamble? 

Knight of Wands - Boldly go. Don't shy away from this. But don't give the horse its head. Keep it reined in. There's no need to go off half-cocked or drive yourself over a cliff.

What exactly should I be keeping in check? 

Knight of Pentacles 

But the Knight of Pentacles is a slow mover, why does he need reining in? And if it's not a battle, why do you keep throwing me all these warrior cards?? (angry face)

 Try thinking about who these 'warriors' are instead of that they're fighting. Do you see them fighting in any of these cards?

Moon in Virgo, with Virgo rising, dear. That's you, you know. Knight of Pentacles is your Inner Teacher Card and your Mode of Expression in the World, according to Mary K Greer's book 'Tarot for Yourself' (pages 38-39). Perhaps it's your need to plan for every eventuality that you should keep in check. 

No, I don't think so. I don't want house buying to be some sort of leap of faith. And I don't want fear to be the driver. I don't want to rush. 

'I don't want, I don't want, I don't want.'  It's always 'I don't want' with you. Who told you to rush, anyway? I told you to stop trying to make sure it all goes exactly like you want it to go.

Okay, how should I proceed with this process in order to feel less burdened by it? 

Temperance - Nobody's rushing you. You're doing that to yourself. Nobody's making you buy a house. You decided to do that yourself. And nobody's stressing you out about this. You're doing that to yourself. Back off and find a balance. 

How do I find a balance? And what is it I should be balancing? 

4 of Cups and The Chariot - You didn't need to draw those cards, I already told you how to find a balance in Temperance -- back off.  But okay, find a balance by being more patient. Observe what's on offer and wait until the next opportunity comes along, like little dude there in the card is gazing at the three cups while a fourth appears from the side.  Notice he's not snatching and grabbing at the cups and nobody's trying to wrestle him to the ground for them -- not a battle. And all right, we'll say it again in a different card, you should be balancing your Chariot side, the part of you that is wanting to force this to happen and to control every aspect of it. 

So what is the most nurturing and balancing thing I can do for myself today? 

I already gave you my advice with Temperance. I suggest you go back and meditate on that card. But if you insist okay, 9 of Cups. Try just being happy about something today. In fact, try being happy about everything today.  Don't think about any of it. 

Playing Card Week Day 4: Financial document snafu?

What does the day hold?

Black - red - black:  Ups and downs. Be aware.

Spades - Diamonds - Clubs: Troubles - money - work.

10 - 4 - 7: Lots, stable, troubles!

Good thing this is just a daily draw. When I woke up at Stupid O'clock this morning, I thought of calling in sick, but I'm not going to. I shall slog through it. I feel better now that I've been up a while, just tired. We need to get hold of some documents to give to the mortgage broker today, so there's the 4 of Diamonds, and 7 of Clubs is a practical problem. I think this looks like a past-present-future reading. I wonder what the practical problem is.

Now, if I read it as pertaining to my agreement in principle, it could mean there is some problem with the application and it may be delayed.

So we'll just have to see how this pans out.

Edited to add: Well, the day is done and now I know what the trouble was. We had a long discussion about what's troubling us or where we can compromise on the house. The unchanging boundaries of our budget was causing us strife until we did practical work on the problem and reached a compromise of sorts. I relented on the house being in the town centre so that hubby could have his off street parking. We found a house in our budget that was just listed today, and tomorrow morning first thing I am going to call to request a viewing. So, the cards played out! By the way, there was no snag in the finances. We got a decision in principle. :)

Playing Card Week Day 3: Financial adviser

Tell me about this mortgage adviser we're seeing tonight. Is he the right man for us?

Two red, one black: Yes

Red, black, red: A problem is overcome

Diamond, Spade, Diamond: A financial problem is solved

5 of Diamonds - financial health, 7 of Spades - troubles, 8 of Diamonds - Thoughts and ideas about finances

Yes, he is the right man for us. He can help us through the process of getting a mortgage and sorting thing out. Any problems or confusion we have about what size mortgage we can cover or what lending product to select, he will have the knowledge and ideas to help us.

Well, that's reassuring! (Though there's nothing to say this wouldn't apply to any financial adviser, as I didn't ask for a comparison between two. But at least it looks like this guy would do his job. :) )

Playing Cards Week Day 2: A Nine Card Draw

Tell me about my home buying process.

Five red cards and four black. The reds are hopeful, the blacks represent challenges. There are three Spades, the suit of 'the troubles that plague every man.' There is only one 7 (the trouble number), and one 9 (the fluctuation/change card). There are three 5s, a number which tends to do with 'other people', or could have something to do with physical reality, the body, health, or other material objects. There is only one Clubs card, having to do with 'work, callings and plans.' Diamonds appear only in the top line, but also thus become the first card of each vertical line.

Centre card
I cannot ignore that the wish fulfillment card, 9 of Hearts, sits in the centre of this spread. That is a very positive sign indeed!

Top line
Three reds = 'all is fair and fine'. The cards spell success and security, financially. We should receive a decision in principle (mortgage agreement) with little trouble. And I hope it also means we get an actual mortgage without a hitch!

Middle line
Black, red, black = 'Appearances can be deceiving, a temporary respite.' Spade, heart, spade. Woman who worries thinks she has a wish fulfilled but is disappointed. Deceptions seems to fulfil wishes but leads to a lot of stress.

Most likely this refers to thinking you've got a house only to find either something wrong with it or that someone else has already bought it. I haven't asked about what happens after buying a house, but about the 'home buying process.' So this doesn't refer to me getting in a house and finding I've taken on more than I can handle. It's more about frequent ups and downs.

Last line
Black, black, red = 'light at the end of the tunnel'.  Club, spade, heart. Physical, trouble, emotion. Craftsmanship, double trouble! Then Jack of Hearts, the 'lover'. Could this be a positive outcome, one of those, 'It was worth it' kind of feelings? Jack of Hearts looks back toward the two black cards, not away from them...

Playing Cards Week Day 1: Red to Black

This week I'm doing daily three card draws with playing cards. I'll be using the White Knuckle Playing Cards (seaofpain.com).

Playing cards are best for traditional cartomancy or as some like to say, 'full on fortune telling'. There's no reading without a question, and the more specific the better. So let's just get to brass tacks and ask a question:

What is the most important thing I can do today to set myself up for a productive and enjoyable week? 

The colours move from red to black -- red, red, black. Good, good, bad. A problem is brewing. It is an emotional time, leading toward the beginnings of an illness. I do think I'm coming down with something. If I'm not careful, I could become dehydrated. (Hearts are cups and 7 and 9 both point to blockages because of the extra pip filling in the gap between the two columns of figures).

Based on this card I'm not sure it will be an enjoyable week, but the least I can do is drink plenty of liquids. I just so happen to be having a fasting blood test tomorrow as well, and the reading seems to point toward preparing for that. Must not forget and get up and eat breakfast tomorrow!

(For notes on playing cards, see 'Playing Card Mnemonic'.)

8 of Cups as hope

Turning the corner and embarking on an unknown new path. I'm reading this with Marseilles or playing card meanings today. 'The hearts (or cups) count as love, family and friends,' and 'an eight shows ideas or thoughts of the mind.' The 8 of Cups in this reading style is 'emotional thoughts', even 'hopes'. I see the figure in this card embarking on a fresh journey into the unknown, starting so early it's still dark with only the moon to light the way.

Buying a house is a business transaction, and all the advice says to look upon a potential property as merely a 'building', but there also the emotion behind it -- the new 'home', with all its connotations. Making a financial commitment and buying a property is also an emotional commitment to the person you go into it with. It's a trust thing, and in a way, a more solid way of saying, 'I intend to be in this with you for life.' I never considered how buying a property might make one feel more deeply committed to one's relationship.

The figure in this card is alone, but I don't think that matters to my reading today. The emotional realisation and feeling of fresh start happens inside oneself, probably not a shared experience.

In any case, a new era is dawning in my life. We viewed our first house last night, and for the first time felt the possibility of owning a property. It was nice. :)

Another viewing tonight!

Did she mention the world goes round?

Ha! Yesterday I said 'the wheels have started turning' and now this card falls on the table.

Too much house-talk, too much house-think yesterday. IFAs and properties online, the reality of limited resources. Not to mention my advanced age. Then the worries and fears, big and small ...what if the house has damp? What if there's something bad wrong with it? What if we can't pay the mortgage? What if we lose our jobs? What if the neighbours are noisy and horrible? What if we get in a dispute with someone? What if it catches on fire? What if we buy a place and get gazumped? What if we move in somewhere and we just hate it? What if we spend all our cash on this and then realise we needed those savings? What do we know about home ownership, we can't sew on a button. What if it needs major repairs, how will we pay for them? Maybe a flat would be better but what about leasehold? What if a terraced house is dark and horrible, maybe it's a choice between a dark terrace but with a patch of ground, or light and airy open plan flat but with no garden? Who wants to drag dirt all through the house from the garden anyway, we need a place with access to the rear garden other than through the house. Maybe I am just not smart or rich enough to do this. Maybe it would be better to just stay as we are and not bother. Maybe I'll talk myself out of this before I even start. Thoughts go round. Round and round and round and round. Which makes me think of this lady. Which makes me feel better.






 'Sometimes you're happy
And sometimes you're sad
But the world goes round
And sometimes you lose
Every nickel you had
But the world goes round
Sometimes your dreams get broken in pieces
But that doesn't mean a thing
Take it from me,
there's still going to be
A summer, a winter, a fall and a spring
And sometimes a friend starts treating you bad
But the world goes round
And sometimes your heart breaks
With a deafening sound
Somebody loses, and somebody wins
And one day it's kicks
Then it's kicks in the shins
But the planet spins
And the world goes round
Round and round and round and round
The world goes round and round and round and round'

Who put the mort in mortgage?

Welp, it didn't take until 2021 for the Devil to turn up after all. Here he is this morning. How about that? Big ugly pink-headed crouching bird-footed gargoyle that he is. Holding his torch like a caveman brute clutching a club. Giving us a split-fingered salute forming the Hebrew letter 'shin', which means both teeth and fire. Yay.

'Devil is in the details' springs to mind here.  I've certainly had a lot of details on my mind lately. Remember my birthday reading? I predicted 'changes in love, family and friends, wealth, means and ends', and saw house-buying as something that might happen this year. We've started the process of looking for a mortgage adviser and I've signed up at rightmove and zoopla. Yesterday we walked about 3 miles round trip to go out and take a look at a house, just to walk past it (and see how I might feel about a 3 mile round-trip walk every day, plus to time how long it takes). This would give us an idea of whether a house search that is 1.5 mile radius from the train station is viable. Maybe, is the answer. But under 1 mile would certainly be better, and half mile better still. Trouble is, as you get closer to the town centre, the houses in our price range get smaller and pokier, and are restricted to on-street parking. So it's a choice of walking a lot and having a bit of space to park the car (and a more 'generous' feel to the neighborhood) or live conveniently close to town amenities but be crowded in. And on top of these choices, all this information gathering. Devil in the details, indeed. So today is phone calls to IFAs to arrange initial chats, and we have booked our first actual viewing for next Monday evening.

The wheels have started turning!

The Lovers and me

Can you Adam-and-Eve it? Another major today.

It's my soul and personality card, The Lovers. (If your tarot numbers add up to 6, The Lovers is both your personality and soul card. These are featured in the work of Mary K Greer, for an overview of how to calculate, see here. )

I did a chart in which I calculated my year cards for every year from my birth year until age 79 (that's where I ran out of room on the page in my journal). The cards that appear most in my lifetime up until age 79 are:

Hermit - 9 times
Wheel of Fortune - 9 times
Strength - 8 times
Justice - 8 times
Chariot - 7 times
Hanged Man - 7 times
Lovers - 6 times
Death - 6 times.

Lovers passed out of my life chart in 2012. Unless I live past 100, it won't make another appearance. The Devil, my 'Hidden Factor' or 'Teacher' card, will turn up in 2021. He'll be back again in 2030 and 2039.

I've read that your soul card is your purpose through many lifetimes, and your personality card is your purpose in this lifetime. I have a slight problem with that because 1) unless I am born on a day that adds up to 6 every time, my 'life purpose through many lifetimes' is going to change,  and 2) I don't actually believe that there is a purpose to any lifetime. I do think that the cards may reflect the issues that we grapple with in this lifetime. (Whether there are other lifetimes is a meaningless question to me. I only get my present consciousness once, so the issue has no bearing.)

Without sharing too much personal stuff, I can say that Lovers is relevant to my life experience so far. I do wrestle a lot with relating to others -- I am what I call a non-shy introvert -- and making choices presents me with agonies beyond measure. Once I arrive at a decision, though, I am (mostly) dead set on it. I can draw a line under things, that's for sure. But wow does it cost me to draw that line. Also have to admit, I do sometimes wonder if the choice I made was the right one, though I try to squelch those thoughts before they send me scrambling for a squirt of Rescue Remedy. :)

Wonder what decision I may face today.

Old grey mare she ain't what she used to be -- health talk from the Empress

Today I've drawn The Empress. It's unusual for me to drawn a major as a daily card -- for some reason, I almost never get them. It's usually a pip card. So imagine my surprise when yesterday I went ahead and drew cards for this week, one per day, and I drew a series of four majors -- no pips until Friday! Weird.

The Empress doesn't turn up much in readings for myself. I don't have a particularly strong maternal or nurturing instinct and I am not what you'd call an 'earth mother' type. The Empress is an earth mother -- in fact her elemental affinity is Earth.  It's made pretty obvious in the Pamela Coleman Smith artwork. She sits on a rock throne in a field of grain, with trees and water all around. Mother Nature indeed. Helpfully, the illustration includes a symbol of Venus carved on a valentine heart, to remind us that the Empress may be a sort of goddess of love, but she can also have a heart of stone. Her crown of twelve stars reminds us that she is of a more cosmic nature than her minor card equivalent, Queen of Pentacles. She might share with the Queen of Pentacles a love of the earth and of the concerns of the flesh, but she's got bigger fish to fry, as the zodiacal crown attests. Her robe is white, which could symbolise a sort of purity, but it's decorated with sliced open pomegranates, which traditionally are a symbol of female genitalia. I suppose you could say the Empress has a wholesome enthusiasm for fecundity and all the acts that lead to it.

That's the thing about majors, though. They're so 'BIG' it's sometimes hard to see what bearing they have as a daily draw. I tend to revert to using them to create an affirmation or seeing them as a reminder to take a wider perspective for the day.

 The Empress reminds me to take a broader view of my health and body. There is more to enjoyment of life than indulging momentary whims, and there's more to the upkeep of the body than numbers on the scale or size of trousers. There is health to consider, and by that I don't mean how fast can you run up a flight of stairs, but how many years can you keep your body in working order? The Empress says to me, if you love this life and want to stay here for a while longer, you are going to have to have some respect for the basic principles of how life works. There's only so much abuse a field will take before it stops producing grain, a river can take before everything in it dies, a forest can take before it disappears. Heck, even a stone gets worn away by erosion, but it goes a heck of a lot faster if you stick dynamite in it and blow it up. If you've got any 'dynamite' behaviours toward your health, maybe you ought to step back and consider the consequences, she seems to be saying. She loves you but she's not your mom--she's Mother Nature! (that's where that heart of stone comes in). She will just watch nature take its course. That's how it works. It's up to you to make better choices, and make them for the bigger reasons, because it's easy to dismiss that niggling voice in your head telling you to move more and eat better as 'cultural conditioning' and 'societal pressures' to strive for 'unattainable beauty standards' when 'real live women have curves.' But actually, uh uh. It is probably the Empress saying hey lady -- wanna reach 65?

Yeah.

The ferryman!

Today's card is the 6 of Swords. It's Air of Air, which probably explains why I feel a bit spaced out today. (That and the fact I only slept 4 hours last night). 

I don't want this card today. I don't welcome it. I associate it with bad times and pain, with slinking away after troubles but carrying all the crap with you, inside your head. Air of Air could certainly represent overthinking, dramatising, catastrophising, and all those other '-isings' so beloved of Albert Ellis in his REBT writings. 

I also associate this card with an 80s song, 'Don't Pay the Ferryman.' 

It was late at night on the open road
Speeding like a man on the run
A lifetime spent preparing for the journey

He is closer now and the search is on
Reading from a map in the mind
Yes there's the ragged hill
And there's the boat on the river
And when the rain came down
He heard a wild dog howl
There were voices in the night (don't do it)
Voices out of sight (don't do it)
Too many men have failed before
Whatever you do

Don't pay the ferryman
Don't even fix a price
Don't pay the ferryman
Until he gets you to the other side

In the rolling mist, then he gets on board
Now there'll be no turning back
Beware that hooded old man at the rudder
And then the lightning flashed, and the thunder roared
And people calling out his name
And dancing bones that jabbered and a moaned
On the water

And then the ferryman said
There is trouble ahead
So you must pay me now (don't do it)
You must pay me now (don't do it)
And still that voice came from beyond
Whatever you do

Don't pay the ferryman
Don't even fix a price
Don't pay the ferryman
Until he gets you to the other side

The ferryman always seems an ominous figure, the huddled shapes of what we assume is a woman and her child trustingly presenting him with their backs as he poles them across the water. I wonder if they paid the ferryman already and what that could mean about their chances of getting to the other side?

I know it's a 6, and a 6 has good connotations, but I don't like this card. I've never liked it. At best it looks like cutting your losses and refugeeing out of turmoil, and at worst it feels like heading into the unknown with a stranger at your back who has the distinct upper hand. And I really do not want this card today. 

So I'm going to shuffle it back into the deck and walk out into the beautiful blue and go buy some veg. 

It's not about the hulk hand -- interpreting the Ace of Pentacles

PCS Commemorative 

Elemental dignities and affinities have become my favourite means of interpreting tarot. They add such depth, and are much more meaningful for me than wondering why a giant hand emerges from a cloud holding a big coin over a garden gate. Yes, you can do that, and at some point you should analyse images of course, but the elemental attributions cut closer to the spiritual level of tarot, for me. My spiritual concept of life is based on a balance of what is represented by the classical four elements, and tarot provides a fertile ground for exploration of how these elements interact.

Today we have Fire of Earth in Ace of Pentacles. (The other Fire of Earth cards are King of Pentacles, Four of Pentacles and Seven of Pentacles.) Whatever could it be referring to?

Fire of Earth is the will, passion and drive being directed toward achieving groundedness, security, and stability in matters of health, hearth and finance. The Fire of Earth personality is proactive to material gain and eager for growth, and so might be a very avid collector, a personal trainer, an exercise junky, a first responder, emergency services worker, mountain rescue, or a financial advisor. You might think that an insurance salesman, stock broker, or CEO might fit the bill for Fire of Earth, but not really. The Earth element does not allow for much risk taking. The Earth element is fired up by security, not playing the market. It's not interested in power so much as safety and security. When you get into risky behaviours, you're moving into the actual element of Fire, the Wands suit, whereas with Fire of Earth, we're talking about how 'Wandsy' a Pentacle will allow itself to get. (Unsurprisingly, not very -- Fire and Earth have a neutral relationship, in traditional elemental dignities. Some would say that Fire and Earth actually have a negative relationship, because earth won't burn and will actually smother out fire. I suppose it's up to the reader what your take is on that.)

In any case, today is an Ace of Pentacles day for me, Fire of Earth. I have lots of Earthy tasks I could and should focus on today. Tax returns, researching the home buying process, finding an IFA, earning the money I've been paid by doing a reading that's been ordered. I ought to work out, eat well, and go out and buy some needed supplies for my physical upkeep -- healthy food, some vitamins, and some cream for an itchy spot on my skin that's come up. Lots of activities that promote stability, groundedness, and security, with the added fiery sense of growth and improvement.

What earthy aspect of your life needs a bit of fire today?

Push it back, shove it back, waaaaaay back!

PCS Commemorative 

Great! Just trying to get this image on this blog post has been a struggle this morning. Took four tries, my scanner decided no matter where I told it to save, it was going to go in a mystery folder where I wouldn't be able to find it. So yeah, 7 of Wands.

7 of Wands (like King of Wands, Ace of Wands and 4 of Wands) is Fire of Fire. The Fire of Fire energy shows 'formidable determination and resolve' (Benebell Wen), is extremely gung ho, can have a one-track mind, and may be conqueror (albeit a charismatic one), a cult leader, maybe even a Hitler.

If these traits sound negative, sorry, I tend to see the downside of Fire before the upside. Fire is, after all, a wild and destructive force. A useful tool if contained and controlled, but always dangerous. At least the number 7 has its influence here, thus the 7 of Wands shows that despite the seeming struggle involved, important developments are happening, and there is progress, sometimes a leap ahead, sometimes it's the unknown causing the stress, but whatever, the 7 of Wands is a time of challenge. Others may be questioning us or slowing us down, we may be questioning or slowing ourselves down, whichever it is, there is some resistance requiring valour or courage.

I guess the key word here is resistance. The 7 of Wands can indicate a feeling that no matter what you try to do, big or small, you have something to fight against in order to get it done. I remember the other night watching the premiere episode of the show '11.22.63', a character said, 'When you push the past, the past pushes back.' (It's a story about time travel, and the characters are discussing how the past doesn't seem to want to be changed and throws up blocks when you try to change it.) The present can feel that way, too! When you push the present, when you push the status quo, the present often feels like it's pushing back! Want to post an image to your blog? Your PC pushes back. Want to get to work on time? The train timetable pushes back. Want to buy a house? Other buyers push back. Want to lose some weight? The chocolate pushes back!

But the 7 of Wands is Fire of Fire, and the figure in this card may be facing these challengers alone, and no one seems to have his back, there's no wall he's backed up against, nothing but clear blue sky and at least he literally seems to have the 'upper hand'. In any case, he shows no sign of giving up. He is fighting Fire with Fire!

If life is pushing back at you today, rise up to meet the challenge. Your foe may be only yourself, after all.

What can you tell me about these properties, Lennie?

Yesterday I sent out enquiries about four local houses that we'd like to view. I thought I would draw a line of 5 for each one just to see what turns up. (ETA: I consulted with a native of this town about these streets and added notes below).

TR house 1

The garden may be noisy and moving to that location could cause erosion of domestic peace. Maybe people move in and out of that area a lot... Stork in the middle.

(This house backs onto a school playing field and is in a small run of 5 or 6 terraced houses. There's some sort of industrial estate very close by. To be honest, this one is my favourite interior and garden. I like it a lot.)

ETA: Spoke to a native of this town and she advised this street is okay.

MR house 2

This house may require consistent financial investment (probably little repairs), but  would appear to be the most appealing to the Hubster, and the money would pay off in the long run (Fish+Sun+Rider). The Sun in the middle looks good. 

(This house is on the street where we currently live and it is a relatively quiet road with a more salubrious estate across the street (we live in a flat in this newer estate, but the houses are out of our price range, really, so having a house near that has the advantages of location but with a price we can afford would be a good thing.) )

ETA: Advised this area is okay, but she was reluctant to say she would live here. LOL

MCR house 3

Okay, the street is busy and parking may be an issue;  relocating there (Stork) may cause stress or upsets (Birds) related to this. Mountain in the middle looks like 'blockages' would be a main theme. 

(This house is near a lovely church and a conservation area of quite nice houses is just over the road, but it is a very wide, busy street.)

ETA: She advised there is a psychiatric hospital nearby, not sure what bearing that has. 

SR house 4 

Danger of niggling troubles from insurmountable small things (Child + Mountain) -- possibly boundary disputes! Something to do with the back garden fencing most likely, and children getting on my nerves.  That Scythe in the middle spells trouble.

(This is a rather bland house and the back garden has low walls and is completely overlooked. But I really don't know anything about the street or neighbourhood.)

ETA: This house is out -- it is very near a troubled area of town that has one of the highest rates of deprivation in the UK. I didn't realise it was so near that area!

Visual cues vs attributions in 2 of Wands

Original Rider Waite Tarot 

Today I've drawn a card that can often be puzzling. The figure in 2 of Wands stands atop what appears to be a castle, holding a globe and a staff. Behind him,  a second staff is mounted to the wall (see the mounting attaching it there?) The figure looks out toward the sea over a harbour town. To me, he looks like a merchant contemplating trade. That's what it's always looked like to me, and I always tend to associate it with business, planning, ambition, etc. And yet when we look at elemental attributions, 2 of Wands is Water of Fire (along with 5 of Wands, 8 of Wands and Queen of Wands).

What is the 'Water' of 'Fire'? Well, Fire is of course passion and drive. What could be the 'watery' aspect of Fire? Water is all about emotion and relationships, so based on elemental attributions, this card should point to passions and drive that extend beyond the self to other people, and their passions and drives. The Water of Fire personality might take on roles such as conflict resolution, moderator, crisis counsellor, trauma counsellor, a Samaritan volunteer, trained listener, and have assertive empathy/insight.

Looking at the card and thinking of those elemental attributions, you'd rather expect to see other people depicted. And yet, the figure stands alone above the town, looking out to sea. The action of looking out to sea has always tended to represent contemplating the 'rest of the world' or the 'vastness' of the world. To drive that point home, the figure literally holds the world in his hand.

This comparison of visual cues vs attributions is interesting, and when we incorporate the meaning of the number 2 into the elemental attribution, we also start to see aspects of duality, balance, cooperation, choice, yin and yang...and 2 + Fire = a choice that must be made about what action to take, because Fire is also the element of action. So the 2 of Wands points to thinking about how what you do impacts others -- those closest to you (the village) and the rest of the existence -- everyone else in the world (out to sea), and even the planet itself (the globe).

If I go by just the picture, my reaction is that the figure is dressed like a wealthy merchant, and as trade routes, especially those that led to great wealth, were by ship, his looking out to sea holding a globe logically represents planning his 'world domination' (even if in reality that just means becoming the wealthiest man in his small shipping village). This would lead me to interpret the card as something to do with business ventures, plans, marketing or whatever, and any of those could be perfectly valid readings of this card, but then there are occasions when a card turns up and your initial associations based solely on visual cues don't quite make sense. You've asked about how to deal with your monster-in-law and the 2 of Wands turns up. So what? Are you supposed to go into business with her? Focus on work or your own goals and ignore her? Not necessarily. This is where elemental attributions and numerology can add depth and solve those mysteries left by 'intuitive' meanings (which are really just your personal associations with or reactions to an image).  Using attributions, you see that maybe the card is advising you to consider things from your monster-in-law's point of view, or to take a more 'global' perspective on the situation. Maybe it's asking you to consider the effect that your little war with your monster-in-law could be having on everyone else around you, and on your future. That sort of thing.

Today is my wedding anniversary, and taking a broader perspective on how my actions affect others is a good theme for today.

Slow and steady and a wary eye

I have a warning today not to splash out, from 4 of Pentacles from the Original Rider Waite Tarot.

Four is the number of stability and Pentacles is the suit of element Earth. The 4 of Pentacles is Fire of Earth, (along with Ace of Pentacles, 7 of Pentacles, and King of Pentacles). It represents seeking shelter, structure and safety for our physical bodies and material wealth. It is a fierce defender of the status quo.

The card advises me to keep my head down today. Don't take risks in the Earth realm. I should be careful with my money, probably check my accounts just to make sure, eat sensibly, take it easy with my back (which I did twitch day before yesterday, doing something as simple as leaning over to pick up something I dropped on the floor).

It is a day for taking no risks with myself, my stuff, or the routines of my life. Slow and steady and a wary eye. (That doesn't sound very 'fiery', but for Pentacles, it is the essence of life, so yeah!)

I can do that.

Oh you better watch out - King of Swords

Well, look who turns up again today. This time I actually drew from the Original Rider Waite Tarot Deck. (The image I was referring to as Original yesterday must have come from a PCS deck. I googled it.  I'd forgotten the brown coloration of the Original. Pardon the scan, my mac and I don't see eye to eye on things).

The King of Swords has the elemental affinity of Fire of Air. The other Fire of Air cards are Ace of Swords, 4 of Swords and 7 of Swords. The Fire of Air personality has a passion for what is 'right', and puts his or her principles before everything, including relationships. The King of Swords in particular tends to be a confrontational skeptic, a crusader against injustice, and so might become a class action lawyer, political theorist, ideological apologist, or take on the role of spokesperson for a particular cause.

He holds the sword in his right hand, the hand that corresponds to the left hemisphere of the brain, which is dominant in language, perception of facial expression, body posture and linguistic functions such as tone of voice, pauses, stress, and rhythms of speech (known as 'prosody'). In other words, the King of Swords can read you like a book, as soon as you stand before him and open your mouth.

He sees you when you're speaking,
he knows what you don't say,
he knows when you've been bad or good
 so be circumspect for goodness' sake

... or something like that.

Anyway, I've drawn the King of Swords two days in a row, so what's he saying to me?

'Oh, you better watch out,
You better be sharp,
Don't let anybody keep you in the dark,
The King of Swords
Is telling you now.'

King of Swords - where did those butterflies come from?

Radiant Rider-Waite Tarot 

The King of Swords is my astrological correspondent, apparently. Aquarius is King of Swords. Let's take a look at him.

He sits on a black and white throne engraved with a sort of inverted triple moon -- but instead of a full moon in the middle, there's a butterfly. Beneath that, two more butterflies. Beneath that, just behind his left shoulder, what appears to be some sort of dancer in the clouds. I don't tend to associate the King of Swords with butterflies or dancers, to be honest. I wonder how they got there. Funnily enough, I never noticed this before in all the years I've used RWS. Let's take a closer look at the original...yep! There it is! Big and bold as life. Actually, that 'dancer' is rendered in more detail in the Original RWS. It's actually a couple, facing us, looking toward the King's head, and the figure in front is pointing. Interesting.

Original RWS

I wonder why the birds in the sky were left out of the Radiant image. I wonder why the King's foot isn't visible. I wonder why his perch on the edge of the promontory is given so much more emphasis in Radiant, and why the Radiant cloud formation looks more like it has a hole in it than the rendering in Original RWS. Maybe no reason. But that hole really catches my eye, and doesn't lend King of Swords good associations!


All these variations could impact the way we read this card. The King in Radiant looks more isolated to me. Without the birds, there is less movement in the card. He appears 'higher' in the scene in Radiant than in Original RWS, more set apart from it. Also, in Radiant, the top of his throne is seen, whereas it goes off the top of card in Original -- this seems to bring him forward a bit in Original, but makes him more static in Radiant, to my eyes. His foot peeping out gives him more a feeling of leaning toward the viewer, whereas having them tucked under the robe in Radiant makes him seem more closed off. Finally, the face in Radiant has a glassy stare, whereas in Original, his eyes seemed cast to the side as if in thought. These are all very subtle cues that will play on the subconscious of the reader and could render quite different results, depending on the sensitivity of the reader to visual cues. (Plus I just prefer the Original, which probably explains why instead of talking about the King of Swords, I've ended up comparing Radiant to Original RWS!)

Well, I'm emerging today here on the blog, a bit like a butterfly (and I did use a butterfly as a logo for a few years, now that I think about it), and I've analysed a card in a King of Swords sort of detachment. So not entirely out of step for today.

Can you believe I have to work today? Sunday working. Oy.

Why I put the cards down...and why I'm picking them back up again

After years of daily blogging, in December 2015, I put the cards down, stopped doing email readings, and stopped blogging. I sold several decks and just stopped thinking about tarot and Lenormand. You don't have to have a traumatic reason for setting the cards aside, but sometimes you do.

My tarot reading service has always been small scale, and that is by choice. I have a full time job and prefer doing readings as and when. If people find their way to this blog and order a tarot reading, I consider that meant to have happened. And this blog was never really a marketing tool so much as a place to write my thoughts about a topic that fascinated (and sometimes obsessed) me. That anyone wanted to read it or to have me read the cards for them was a pleasant surprise. In essence, tarot was a hobby and a pleasure. (It was also the keystone of my spiritual path, an aspect that did not feel appropriate for exploration on this blog, so I seldom wrote about that aspect. I can tell you now that my interest in tarot originated as a spiritual practice, my research into the cards led me down a completely new spiritual path, and out of that came my desire to write about the cards and read them for others.)

But then something happened in my life in 2014 that took the pleasure out of everything. It made me question everything in my life. It made the meaning and the foundation fall out from under me. It made the things I loved seem pointless and stupid. These things I had put so much value in had not helped prevent this from happening to me, so what good were they?  What good was anything? What was the point of anything? I know that when you lose interest in the things you love most, that is a major signifier of deep depression. But when it happens to you, you can't do anything about it. You just really don't care anymore.

My spiritual practice suddenly seemed to me frivolous and meaningless. I looked at my things and I detested them. I loaded up several boxes of paraphernalia and gave it in to charity shops. (Probably making some local fledgling witches very happy!) I sold loads on ebay. I only kept a few key items. I took a car full of books to the local second hand book shop and sold them for a fraction of their value, only keeping a few titles that I knew I could not bear to part with.  I gave the more valuable books away to friends. I deleted a witchcraft blog I had been keeping.  I was paring things down with a view to leaving this path altogether.

I don't know what I thought any of this would solve, but I guess it made me feel better because it gave me control over something in my life, at a time when so much was out of my control. Maybe not unlike anorexics decide to stop nourishing their bodies in an effort to control something, I decided to stop nourishing my spirit. Spiritual anorexia. Now that I think about it, that seems an apt assessment.

I kept blogging through most of this, funnily enough. It was a habit, and in some ways, it was a mask.

Several months later, hoping to spark some sort of refreshed interest, I started the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids course. But then, I found trying to read and absorb the materials made me feel drained and, dare I say it, bored. I decided that I couldn't cope with any of it, so I stopped blogging and stopped reading the course materials. I keep getting packets from OBOD which I file away in a folder. I will return to it at some point.

I just feel like looking at the cards again. I find myself looking at blue in the sky. The other day, I noticed the buds on the rowan trees.  I tried to reject the cards. I blamed them for not telling me this thing was going to happen. I blamed my spiritual practice for not keeping me safe. When I was betrayed in life, I turned my back on these friends. I needed to do that for a while. It's hard to cope with the places cards can take you, when you're so wounded. It's hard to reconcile that so much was hidden that they never revealed. It's hard to find the energy to string words together, when there seems no point to anything any more.

Healing takes a lot longer than you think. I remember reading that when you've had a trauma, it can take up to two years to even start to feel normal again. For me it's been 18 months. So maybe writing on this blog today is a sign I'm starting to turn that corner.

I'm hanging out my shingle again...

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Thanks x