When emotions cloud the issue: the Lovers

Intuitive Tarot by Cilla Conway

The guidebook suggests these lovers are conjoined at the shoulder and chest, but I don't think they look any more conjoined than the male in the image looks armless -- I just thought the female's arm was tucked behind her. However, a lot is made of this 'conjoined' element in the text, so the artist must think it's really important.

To me, the conjoined element points to enmeshment, not in personal relationships for me at this moment, but in other kinds of emotions. Because Lovers also points to choices, and you know what I've been thinking about a lot lately. This Lovers card seems to warn against lack of boundaries and logic in choice making. Who is that sinister figure looming while the lovers remain distracted by their emotions?

It's no secret that I am involved in magical practice, and lately I've been asking my like-minded friends to contribute energy to my house search. Twice now I've found places I've been interested in, and have sent out a call for energy. Most of my friends offer it without hesitation, but last night I asked my niece, who has been practising magic a lot longer than I have, and she said something that brought me up short: 'Do you love this house or are you settling?' Whoa. I said I like the photos but haven't seen the house yet. She said go see it and talk to her again. 'I would 100% give my energy, but you need to feel your own first.' I told her yes, but that this house coming up right now seems portentous, because just Friday night we went for a walk on that street and I had wished for a house to come up on that street, and on Saturday morning the listing appeared! She was not impressed. 'Understood, but you haven't been in the space yet. Wishes are all fine and good, but sometimes...not so much. You need to cleanse and open channels and walk the space. Those of us that use our feelings or other parts of the mind are often susceptible to being pulled in to unhealthy situations. Do not jump before you think.' So I asked her what I should look for. 'It's not about looking for problems,' she said, 'It's about walking the space with an open mind -- shields and guards up of course -- but feel, and trust your gut. If anything feels off, not good. Just let go of any want for the house. If you walk in with expectations, that is not good. Be clinical. Not personal. Meditate and cleanse your mind before you go. Then let me know.' Now that right there is discernment and wisdom, folks. So the viewing is tomorrow night and tonight it's a cleansing ritual.

Anyway, so that's what the Lovers means to me today. Choices about enmeshment in my desire to own a house. Today is the day to separate my emotions and fears and baggage from logic. I had resolved to be logical in my house search, but in spite of myself I find myself setting my heart (somewhat) on something far before it's time to get emotionally involved, and sending out calls for support far before it's time for even me to commit to any sort of intention. That enmeshment in the process has to stop. Yes, the housing market is brutal and if you hesitate you lose out on a property. So be it. So be it.

The Lovers and me

Can you Adam-and-Eve it? Another major today.

It's my soul and personality card, The Lovers. (If your tarot numbers add up to 6, The Lovers is both your personality and soul card. These are featured in the work of Mary K Greer, for an overview of how to calculate, see here. )

I did a chart in which I calculated my year cards for every year from my birth year until age 79 (that's where I ran out of room on the page in my journal). The cards that appear most in my lifetime up until age 79 are:

Hermit - 9 times
Wheel of Fortune - 9 times
Strength - 8 times
Justice - 8 times
Chariot - 7 times
Hanged Man - 7 times
Lovers - 6 times
Death - 6 times.

Lovers passed out of my life chart in 2012. Unless I live past 100, it won't make another appearance. The Devil, my 'Hidden Factor' or 'Teacher' card, will turn up in 2021. He'll be back again in 2030 and 2039.

I've read that your soul card is your purpose through many lifetimes, and your personality card is your purpose in this lifetime. I have a slight problem with that because 1) unless I am born on a day that adds up to 6 every time, my 'life purpose through many lifetimes' is going to change,  and 2) I don't actually believe that there is a purpose to any lifetime. I do think that the cards may reflect the issues that we grapple with in this lifetime. (Whether there are other lifetimes is a meaningless question to me. I only get my present consciousness once, so the issue has no bearing.)

Without sharing too much personal stuff, I can say that Lovers is relevant to my life experience so far. I do wrestle a lot with relating to others -- I am what I call a non-shy introvert -- and making choices presents me with agonies beyond measure. Once I arrive at a decision, though, I am (mostly) dead set on it. I can draw a line under things, that's for sure. But wow does it cost me to draw that line. Also have to admit, I do sometimes wonder if the choice I made was the right one, though I try to squelch those thoughts before they send me scrambling for a squirt of Rescue Remedy. :)

Wonder what decision I may face today.

Tarot and the 12 Steps: 7-9

This is post 3 of 4 examining how the first 12 tarot majors fit the 12 steps of addiction recovery.

Introduction
Steps 1-3
Steps 4-6

 7. We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 

The Lovers card usually shows some type of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden scenario, which we see here, pointedly absent of the angel Gabriel, but with a split-bodied Cupid and a rather hairy looking serpent slithering between Adam's legs. Interesting... But what would Adam and Eve have to do with us 'humbly asking [God] to remove our shortcomings'? It's complicated.

In the Garden of Eden is where our 'shortcomings' emerged. It's there that we became self-aware, and thus where remorse and shame originated. Shortcomings like dishonesty, fear, pride, greed, envy, blame, harmful acts, and resentment -- all of these emerged because of self-awareness, because we learned to compare ourselves to perfection and understood that we could never, ever measure up to it. It's not our imperfections, then, that we need to 'humbly ask [God] to remove' -- it's our shame at being imperfect, and the things we do as a result of that shame.

I told you it was complicated.

It's not about the kissing -- Lovers in Cosmic Tarot

Oh, look, a major. Today it's Lovers from Cosmic Tarot. I quite like this card and its very balanced design, with its recurring threes. Three rings around the sun. A cluster of three red flowers. Another cluster of three red flowers. Three stars on the arm of the lady. A 6-pointed star -- three points at the top, three points at the bottom. All those threes caught my eye. Of course, the number of this card is 3+3. Interesting. I like that the man and woman are of equal size in the card. The two trees are the same size and height, too. They seem to be equal partners.

The Lovers card is associated with Mercury in Gemini. Gemini is an air sign, and so funnily enough, Mercury in Gemini is not necessarily about love.

'Mercury in Gemini makes decisions quickly, and they usually turn out well. It is easy for them to communicate with all people from all walks of life. Eloquent and engaging, it is hard to be bored with a Gemini Mercury around.

'Gemini Mercury is a natural witty flirt. Their clever chatting often keeps their partner enthralled. The love to take part in cultural event and enjoy new situations. They blossom in a stimulating, fast-paced environment. When bored, they may stir up trouble just to make things interesting. They like to play mind games and are delighted to find someone who will spar back. A natural at social gatherings, they flit from group to group like a butterfly. They are usually attractive and full of good humour.' ~ Always Astrology

So it becomes more obvious why Lovers is often interpreted to mean a choice or decision - as decision-making is a strength of Mercury Gemini. Also, Gemini itself suggests a split between two, a twinning, or a duality, ie, a choice. And the social, charismatic qualities of Mercury Gemini would fit well with the attractions of the Lovers card. All in all, it makes good sense.

What, then, should I do today that would bring me pleasure and also be good for my future? I should make decisions quickly and efficiently, and if the opportunity presents itself, I should attempt be social and talkative -- in an attractive, good-humoured way. :)

Mind the gap

'You were born together,
and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings
of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the
silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other's shadow.'

~ The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran

I bought some herbs today, oh boy

I just bought these herbs and pots today. From left to right: peppermint, lemon thyme, oregano, rosemary, sage.

I'm a little worried because when I took the plants from their plastic containers to pot them, they had massive root systems that filled the entire container. I wasn't expecting that, but I'm no expert on plants by any means. So when I put them in the new clay pots, I had to add hardly any soil at all around them. Perhaps I should have bought bigger pots, but it's too late now. I can't very well unpot them all and exchange the pots. It's just like me to take something that was meant to be fun and relaxing and find ways to stress and fret over it. I don't want the plants to die because the pots are too small, they're not getting enough light, the window's too drafty. Etc.

The fact is, I've been way more stressed lately than I ought to be. I don't know if it's hormones, my work situation, worry about things back home in America, or general malaise caused by the upcoming equinox. I don't know what it is.

So I drew from the Haindl Tarot. What is going on today? What is the underlying cause? And what is a possible solution?

One plus one is one?

Today's card from Roxi Sim's Pearls of Wisdom Tarot is The Lovers. I quite like this card. The two lovers have become one, entwining together and turning into a tree. I think the image of a tree is a lovely one to symbolise strength and steadfastness and longevity. These lovers become a tree, with a complex root network penetrating the earth. There are little mushrooms sprouting up from the roots, and to me they represent a sort of rebirth or the life cycle. They also look a bit phallic. Also seen in the card is the pomegranate, which I associate with fertility and sensuality. However, the card also points to separation, as the lovers in the tree seem almost engaged in a struggle, and their shoulders and heads pull away from each other. The tree is also in autumn leaf and shedding leaves, hinting that earthly love by its nature cannot last forever, as our physical bodies inevitably decline and die. But then, there are the mushrooms again, reminding us of the life circle. 

Most of the cards in the deck feature strings of pearls, which to me symbolise tears shed in this life--both happy and sad ones. The pearl strands in the card are embellished with yin yang symbols, opposites attracting and mingling.

The card speaks strongly to me of both togetherness and separateness, and reminds me,

for some reason, of Kalil Gibran's The Prophet, 'On Marriage':

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

The card can be seen as a celebration of love and partnership, but also a warning not to lose oneself in the process. Are they one, or are they striving to be one and separate at the same time? Are they in a passionate embrace, or are they sharing the throes of inevitable death? As Forrest Gump says, 'I think maybe it's both. Both happening at the same time.' 

May I remember not to lose myself in my relationships.