Two to tango - but who keeps moving the loo roll?

That is one hell of a thigh on that woman in this, our last card of the week from Delphine Sutherland's Oracle of Proverbs (2013), 'It takes two to tango.'

I've always heard this phrase used to remind someone that whenever there's an argument, it's not just the fault of one person. Someone has to argue back. If there is discord, if there is trouble -- it takes two to tango.

The tango itself is a dance of extreme tension. There is attraction to the point of violence, a very serious dance. You never, ever see a smile in a tango. There is tension without release in a tango, and this could be compared to two people who just can't get along, but for some perverse reason, they keep stringing out the conflict. In this way, it takes two to tango. If one or the other stepped back, out of the spell, and said, 'Wait, this is stupid. Don't we look silly though. all this kicking and pulling faces!' -- then the whole nebulous thing would fall apart. In this sense, the phrase means, if you don't participate in this, the conflict (or tension, or whatever it is) will just disappear. (Admittedly the frisson of day to day conflict is not as fun as foreplay, which is what the tango patently represents. BUT, tension is tension I guess.)




Delphine's LWB suggests another meaning for the phrase: 'Relationships matter. Real love comes when we begin to accept one another totally.' So, in this interpretation, 'It takes two to tango' means we have to work with each other to perform the complex and intricate machinations of a successful relationship, just like the dancers must be in sync to avoid kicking the bejeebers of our each other's shins. (And sometimes marriage is a little bit like shin kicking contest! ha ha)

But I do have to admit, I see the actual tango as being more about the earliest throes of sexual tension, and less about showing patience the 112th time you've walked in the bathroom to find the toilet roll is turned round the wrong way again. No matter who starts the argument about it, you don't have to holler back, though -- 'cause it takes two to tango!

So, my lovelies? What kind of tango have you been dancing lately? Do you want to carry on?

Take good care of yourself today

Oracle of Proverbs, Delphi Sutherland 2013 

Today's card from Oracle of Proverbs reminds me to eat well today. It also tells me that simple good habits lead to long term health and well-being.

In other words, taking simple steps today can help make things better for me in the future.

I like this card; it's cheery; the kids look like they're having fun. They've got all those apples to put in the cellar and have all winter... To store apples for winter, you carefully select a thick-skinned variety, and choose the ones that have no bruises on them at all. Wrap them in newspaper or brown paper and carefully place them in a basket or box, and store them in a cool dark place where they will not freeze and where they won't get jostled or bothered. The apples will last 3 or 4 months--the whole of winter. Those apples with blemishes or bruises can be made into apple sauce, apple butter, or apple pie filling, or of course eaten raw or baked and eaten today. :)  Do you put that much thought into apples, or do you just go to the market and buy a couple when the mood strikes?

The point is, knowing what to do with your harvest is an important part of setting yourself up for a safe and happy future. You don't have to eat ALL your apples today, and you don't have to do without and hoard them for tomorrow. You certainly don't have to get just one apple at a time and hope that tomorrow you can find the next one, somehow some way. (You could do it that way, but you don't have to!).

A little moderation today, a little planning for tomorrow, a little remembering to take care of yourself today, a little remembering to spare some thought for your future -- that's the key.

And you thought this saying had something to do with vitamins and fibre intake!

The best reason in the world to stop being mean to yourself

Oracle of Proverbs by Delphi Sutherland 

Images of mothers and children seldom do it for me, and I usually take the saying on this card to mean 'when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.' I've also heard it associated with the idea that your habits and ideas come from the way you were raised. Not sure what to make of it, I checked the companion book. Delphine says, 'You are more powerful than you realise so look around and see what needs to be done. Then step in and take charge. But do it through understanding and nurturing.'

Be bossy but be nice about it? :D

I just made a resolution about this yesterday, to temper my words and remember to pay compliments, particularly to those closest to me. I was thinking...why are we often harshest to those who are closest? And I realised that when you're close to someone, it can become like you're one person, and we forget not to treat them any differently than we are in the habit of treating ourselves. And of course we all know how hard we can be on ourselves. Whereas with friends or acquaintances, there are always boundaries we never cross, things we wouldn't dream of saying, with those we hold most dear, we can sometimes find ourselves treating them with the same level of judgement and criticism and lack of delicacy that we tend to treat ourselves. There's nothing nice about that! But it's easy to see how it happens. It's hard to keep boundaries with someone that you walk around naked in front of or swap spit with (and other intimacies). But actually, it really is important to remember -- that person is not you. Don't be as mean to them as you are to yourself, they don't deserve it.

Which brings up another point -- this is a great reason to learn to respect yourself and treat yourself respectfully. If you ever had problems figuring out how or why you should 'love yourself', then maybe this will motivate you:

You should love yourself because it helps you treat others better, particularly those closest to you. If it's our nature to treat those closest to us they way we treat ourselves, then it's a good idea to learn to treat ourselves with respect.

I really must write this stuff down. ;)

Don't say anything about yourself that you wouldn't dream of saying to a friend or a new acquaintance. And don't say anything to your loved ones that you wouldn't say to a friend or acquaintance. If bad habits are engrained, this is significant challenge. But let's start working on it today. Rock the cradle instead of throwing rocks.

The bridges can wait

This week I'm drawing from an oracle deck called Oracle of Proverbs, self-published by Delphi Sutherland, 2013. The artist appears to be uncredited in the LWB.

This is a good card for me to draw every day, because my default mode tends to be, 'Never put off to tomorrow what you can worry about today.' I am taking steps to try to turn that around, though.

This card reminds me to focus my attention on where I'm standing right now.

Anyway, look at the card. There is a path that leads upward on the far left. There is what looks like a path that might lead right down along the riverside in the middle of the card. And for all this walker knows, when she gets to the bridge, it might be blocked. So why worry about the bridge. There are so many options -- none of which matter right now anyway. What matters right now is the step she is lifting her foot to take, that's it. That's all that matters.

I've made promises to myself about what I want to accomplish today. Time to go do them. Screw the bridges. The bridges can wait.