When I grow old and losing my hair, many years from now...

Ancient Italian Tarot

Yesterday I received something from my employer about retirement benefits. I hate getting these reports because to be frank I do not understand them. When it comes to long-term financial planning, I seem to have been out of the room when they were handing out skills in that area. And so, as usual, I skimmed through it with furrowed brow, fretting a bit about my fears that I will be a homeless and hungry old lady.

So it doesn't surprise me that I wake up this morning and draw 5 of Coins as my daily draw. This card, for me, always points to money worries, the fear of lack.

It's always interesting to me how tarot picks up on the general energies. If you don't ask a specific question and draw, it will give you a snapshot of how you feel, and often times that is very useful, because silly as it may sound, sometimes we aren't sure what we're feeling, and finding out is a very good starting point indeed.

Then of course we want answers. I think it's a mistake to believe that the tarot will give you a pat answer in a single draw. It would be naive to draw three cards now and expect the tarot to reveal to me how to address my retirement plan. I don't need the tarot for that, anyway. I need to see a financial advisor, which is what hubby and I decided to do last night after I told him that for me, the end of my working life looms before me like some hunch-backed spectre. He's not the type to worry about these things, though it's my strong suspicion that neither of us has adequate provision for a life after retirement. It's not something you think about much in your youth, but at some point you have to realise you've got more days behind than you have ahead of you -- and with the best will in the world, your body may not be able see you through to working until you drop. And even if it did, you might not be able to find an employer willing to take you on past retirement age.

So, I reshuffle the deck and ask, how can I best address these feelings and concerns today? I shuffle, cut and draw:

Ancient Italian Tarot

The Fool. So often when I have material concerns, the Fool pops up as advice for me. I am resistant to its message in my head, but heart must take it on, because so far my trust in the Universe has served me well. I will accept this advice for now, and seek out a financial planner soon.

Today I am grateful that I still have time to prepare for retirement, however humble those preparations may have to be.