Earth of Earth - Princess of Disks

Thoth Tarot

Today I've drawn the Princess of Disks from Aleister Crowley's Thoth Tarot. It's one of my favourite cards from this deck, and apparently I am not alone. In his book Understanding Aleister Crowley's Thoth Tarot, Lon Milo DuQuette writes, 'To be embarrassingly honest, I am most profoundly (and most hopelessly) in love with her. Enlargements of this card adorn the living room walls of many of my colleagues, and it is one of the most frequently reproduced cards of the deck.' DuQuette calls her the ultimate princess -- being earth of earth, she represents the 'highest high and the lowest  low (and everything in between) of all the suits. The 'Malkuth of Malkuths', the 'potential of all possible possibilities, and the key to perpetuating the life of the universe.'

This is just one of the curiosities of the Thoth Tarot, that a low-ranked court card from the minor arcana can be the ultimate of the universe.

She wears a rather Wagnerian head dress with her hair in long braids, and a massive fur cloak that winds from her shoulders and twists into the foreground like an out of control bit of costuming from the Stark section of the 'Game of Thrones' wardrobe barn. She holds a staff or spear in one hand and a disk or shield in the other, which makes her seem even more Wagnerian. For someone who is 'earth of earth', she is decidedly unearthly, apparently floating there amidst trees whose roots hang in mid-air. Whatever she is looking down at is a source of brilliant light, for both she and the trees are lit from below --or is she the source of the light? We can see golden light emanating from the diamond tip of her staff, beaming down into whatever abyss she is peering into.

Let's listen to Paul Hughs-Barlow's thoughts on the Princess of Disks:



Change, change, change -- the cards are always about change. To be honest, I don't know that anything is going to change today. I am going to work today -- yes on a Sunday -- BOO HISS! -- and I have no plans to change anything today or do anything of the apparent magnitude implied by this card!

So we'll just look at it from the point of a view of a lowly tarot card reader. Perhaps this card encourages me to connect deeply with the physical and mundane aspects of life today, earthly life. It is not a day to float disconnected and unaware of my breath as I breathe it, my life as I live it. Today is a day to notice the tactile and the beautiful, the senses and the physical reality of my life and the comforts of home. I'll only be at work for four hours. The rest of the day is mine.

I thought I'd do a general reading with the CC

Pearls of Wisdom, 2nd Edition (Roxi Sims) 

1. What covers me - 4 of Wands

2. What crosses me - The Star

3. What crowns me - Temperance

4. What lies beneath me - Ace of Cups 

5. What lies behind me - 7 of Cups 

6. What lies before me - High Priestess

7. Me - 2 of Pentacles 

8. My house - 10 of Cups 

9. My hopes and fears - 5 of Pentacles

10. What will come - Knight of Pentacles 

This is the Pearls of Wisdom Tarot, a favourite of mine. I'd like to refer to the book throughout for this reading. My current situation is the 4 of Wands crossed by the Star. 'Making plans which suggest a change in direction. Your actions are in harmony with the Universe,' the guidebook says of 4 of Wands. This is crossed by The Star, 'a card of great love, holding the impersonal forces of the Universe in balance.' This suggests that what I'm doing now is for my greatest good. I'm doing okay. And the things I'm thinking of doing are also okay, and will move me in the right direction for me. 

I am crowned by Temperance, I am 'blessed to be in harmony with the Universe' and 'taste of the Divine leading [me] to greater discoveries about [my]self.' And my foundation is the Ace of Cups, 'a clearing and/or cleaning is taking place.' We see the figure baptising herself in the water -- washed clean of the old emotional junk and ready for new feelings and experiences. 

Behind me is confusion -- 7 of Cups, a card which denotes distraction and indecision.  'It is possible that these dreams are a result of your saboteur, the part of yourself which judges you bad or guilty.' So behind me is confused thoughts based on my saboteur. In some ways, at least. :) 

Before me lies some work plumbing the depths of myself, the High Priestess. I have some soul-searching to do. 

I am a fountain, you are my water, 

I flow from you to you.

I am an eye, you are my light, 

I look from you to you. 

You are neither my right nor my left, 

You are my foot, you are my arm as well.

I am a traveller; you are my road. 

I go from you to you. 

                            --Zeynap Hatun (quoted in Pearls of Wisdom LWB)

Meanwhile I am the 2 of Pentacles, seeking balance. 

My house is in good order, where there is 'happiness and harmony' and 'more than enough love'. Things have seemed very good of late. Not perfect but good. 

Of course, my hopes and fears are of avoiding lack, 5 of Pentacles. Especially in the face of attempts at change, I have fear of lack and loss. 

Finally, the outcome of Knight of Pentacles suggests slow and steady is the only way to proceed, methodical, patient and organized. I like that advice anyway. 

Page of Cups

The Lovers' Tarot (Connections 2005)

Today's card from my new deck, The Lovers' Tarot by Jane Lyle, is Page of Cups. The image makes very clear reference to the RWS Page of Cups: The figure is facing to the left side of the card, red and blue clothing, standing on the edge of water, and most curiously, there is a fish emerging from the cup. The creator of the Rider Waite Smith deck,  Arthur Edward Waite, provides only this explanation in his Pictorial Key to the Tarot: 'A fair, pleasing, somewhat effeminate page, of studious and intent aspect, contemplates a fish rising from a cup to look at him. It is the picture of the mind taking form' [italics mine]. Now, that's interesting. Many contemporary tarot readers, if they mention the fish at all, talk about the Page of Cups' imagination and sense of wonder being symbolised by the fish emerging from the cup. That may be quite valid. But Waite's explanation, brief as it may be, seems perhaps to go a bit further. 'The picture of the mind taking form' is a very big picture indeed! It is the awakening of consciousness, emotional intelligence, and self-awareness, is it not? The fish is a fitting symbol for these things...a creature that is foreign to us, able to breathe where our bodies would drown, living in a place that we cannot see (beyond the most fleeting glimpses) but can only imagine, hidden from us and our experience, creatures that go with unseen flows, that can travel great distances at great speeds. As most of the earth's surface is covered by water, fish may symbolise greater freedom than we land-crawlers enjoy -- more territory to explore, and moving through it with greater ease and in deeper harmony than we can in our own dry environments. They are light and buoyant and quick, where we are weighed down by gravity, heavy and slow.Yes, the fish is a good symbol of the unseen, the depths, freedom, vastness, unfettered movement...the inner mind, the heart, the subconscious, the emotions. So the fish emerging from the cup represents our first awareness of this rich inner world, the first consideration that we might have depths unplumbed within ourselves, waiting to be explored.

In what way are you awakening to an unsuspected hidden depth? How has its emergence surprised you? What do you think you will do with this new awareness?

The Lovers' Tarot by Jane Lyle - Review

The Lovers' Tarot by Jane Lyle (Connections, 2005)

Apparently The Lovers' Tarot by Jane Lyle has been through many editions, the first one coming out in 1992 as a majors only deck. I bought the 78-card version because I watched a video of Four Queens unboxing hers and when upon investigation I discovered that the pip cards are very plain, I ordered it. I quite like pips-only decks. There's something that feels very fortune-tellerish about laying out a bunch of plain cards and doing a reading with them; I feel it shows some knowledge, and appears less like you're 'just looking at the pictures and making stuff up.' I have both kinds of decks, of course, but I think it's good to use pips-only decks, too.

This deck is called The Lovers' Tarot and it is specifically intended to be used for love and relationship readings. The 64-page guidebook accordingly confines its interpretations to that context, which makes for an interesting read. Though the book is very brief, it is packed with useful information, making it a valuable and convenient resource for quick reference. Each major card gets one page of text that includes ruling planet, element, and a keyword, a 2 or 3 paragraph explanation of the card, and two key phrases called 'essence'. I feel the book really comes into its own with the minors and courts. Instead of organising them by suit, Ace - Ten, as most (but not all) guidebooks do, this book is organised by number. For each number, all four cards are featured across two facing pages, with one-half a page each. The upright meaning is called 'The Gift' and the reversed meaning is called 'The Challenge'. Each card is given a keyword for both upright and reversed:

The Lovers' Tarot by Jane Lyle (Connections 2005)

About the art -- it's a kind of photo collage which some call awkward and clunky, but I think it's meant to be like that. The illustrator, Oliver Burston, is a professional commercial artist so I have no doubt he has the skill to create something realistic and lifelike. I just don't think that was the object here. I like that the art looks like pieces cut from the work of great masters and pasted down. I like the flatness and odd proportions. It's why I like the Tarot Illuminati as well. See what you think:

Majors from The Lovers' Tarot (Connections 2005)

Courts from The Lover's Tarot (Connections 2005)

The only down side I see to this deck is the suit of Wands. There is no movement there, and for the Fire suit, I would like to see the arrangement less static. I'll show you what I mean. The wands are used to create almost like a wall or fence as the numbers get higher. This disappoints me. I would like to have seen, for example, all of them aligned for 8 of Wands, and a bit more confusion in 5 of Wands and 10 of Wands. I know it's a pips-only deck, but there's just something about the way the wands form a kind of garden fence that doesn't seem very Wandsy to me. I would also have preferred a red or orange background colour, to reflect the Fire element. That's the only negative thing I have to say about this deck, though.

I find this an attractive deck with a useful little guidebook, and it comes with a lovely sturdy box, all for a very reasonable price. I am quite pleased with it, and feel it's a keeper.

Can you untell what you've told?

The Dreamer Princess is the Princess of Swords. It's important to make a distinction between tarot Princesses and tarot Pages. They aren't exactly the same thing. An RWS Page of Swords is characterised as a studious young person who enjoys playing devil's advocate and challenging those in authority to debate, someone who is always questioning why. Armed with this knowledge, the verse assigned to Dreamer Princess may puzzle:

Her leaves are whispers on the wind
She will tell them how and why you sinned
She gleans her knowledge from the earth
And dreams of what its gift is worth...
                                                 - Emily Carding

That doesn't exactly sit well with our contemporary RWS vision of the Page of Swords as earnest and questioning student, but look what Crowley says about the Thoth Princess of Swords:

'The Princess of Swords represents the earthy part of Air, the fixation of the volatile. She partakes of the characteristics of Minerva and Artemis, and there is some suggestion of the Valkyrie. She represents to some extent the anger of the Gods...The character of the Princess [of Swords] is stern and revengeful. Her logic is destructive. She is firm and aggressive, with great practical wisdom and subtlety in material things. She shows great cleverness and dexterity in the management of practical affairs, especially where they are of a controversial nature. She is very adroit in the settlement of controversies.'

You look at the figure in the card differently now, don't you? She's got a lot of power, this one. She's no student. She's in control of what she unleashes -- but is she in control of the consequences? Can she really control where those leaves go, or does she just think she can? She might just be a little too big for her britches.

'If ill-dignified,' continues Crowley, 'all these qualities are dispersed; she becomes incoherent, and all her gifts tend to combine to form a species of low cunning whose object is unworthy of the means.'

We've all got the gift of telling, but should we always unleash all we know? Should we say everything we think? Can we control those leaves once we set them loose on the wind?

The Buddha's teaching about right speech has been rendered by some unknown person into this memorable verse:

If it is not truthful and not helpful, don't say it.
If it is truthful but not helpful, don't say it. 
If it is not truthful but helpful, don't say it. 
If it is truthful and helpful -- wait for the right time. 

That's worth thinking about.

Dreamer Five - Tarot of the Sidhe

I don't know about you, but every time I draw a downbeat card as my Card of the Day, I feel my heart sink into my shoes. 'Oh no!' is my first thought. Or even, 'What? I thought today was going pretty well! I don't feel bad, or I didn't until now...'  Anybody else get that?

So here we have Dreamer Five, or 5 of Swords. Now here's a kick in the head. If you're familiar with Mary K Greer's Tarot for Yourself, you may have heard of the Destiny Card. It is the minor arcana card that corresponds with your actual birth date. She provides a list of dates, and mine is 5 of Swords. 'From this card you can find indications of your fundamental impulses, desires, and reactions as an individual.' That's kind of amazing, considering the dates associated with this card cover a nine day period. So the implication is that everyone born on one of those nine days is going to have the same 'impulses, desires, and reactions' as me. That's not very individual, is it? So I take all this with a grain of salt. But it's still kind of depressing to be told that your nature is 5 of Swords. It's not like someone with that sort of outlook needs more confirmation of how crap everything is! Ha ha.

Anyway, when I drew this card this morning, my first thought was, Oh. Poo.

I think, though, looking at this card, we see a lot of self-sabotage here. This is a sidhe who has not lost hope but who is throwing hope away. The fire has gone out of him (or her) and so he is turning a dark, sooty green. The flame has gone out of his hair. Worst of all, he appears to have used that sword he is tossing aside to chop off his own wings. He has bloody stumps on his back and is holding the wings in his hand. He's standing on a tremendously high plinth (one of five) that reaches above the clouds. What is his plan now? To throw himself off it, wingless? The sun is blood red, reflected on the icy mountaintops.

So, the card suggests certain questions:

How am I self-sabotaging?
How am I cutting off my own wings?
What fire has gone out of me?
In what ways do I feel I am disappearing into the background? (as the sidhe is doing in his lower half)
What weapons have I used against myself?
How have I isolated myself?
Why have I isolated myself?

And then, to take it deeper:

How have these actions served me?
What reward have I received by doing these things or making these choices?
Did these actions really serve me well, or were they dysfunctional coping mechanisms?
Do I choose to continue these actions, or am I ready to move on from them?


But that's an awful lot just for a daily draw. So for today, we could just take it as a warning to watch out for self-sabotaging behaviour, be careful to not to shoot ourselves in the foot.

Summer Solstice Reading

A reading for Summer Solstice. I found this spread at a blog called Indigo Spirit Tarot. It seemed like a nice spread, so I thought I'd try it out here as my Summer Solstice reading. 

1

2 ............... 3

4 ..... SUN..... 5

6 ............... 7

8

1. Live with passion. Embrace the power of the Sun.

2. Upcoming possibilities. The door to success is opened by...

3. Time to play. Enjoy this gift.

4. Time to be serious.

5. Welcome advice.

6. Beware what lies in the shadows.

7. How to improve, now that you're aware. 

8. A burden lifted. Let it go.

I've chosen to read with Tarot Illuminati (Erik C Dunne, 2013) because -- what's more appropriate on Summer Solstice than a little illumination? 

1. Embrace the Sun - Princess of Swords. 'If the Princess of Swords is anything,' writes Kim Huggens in Complete Guide to Tarot Illuminati, 'she is firstly the power of invention and secondly of revolution.' 

2. Upcoming possibilities - Five of Swords. We often look at this card as indicating defeat, but there's no reason not to sometimes see ourselves as the ones having the upper hand. Kim Huggens supports this, writing, 'If the other cards around it are positive and supportive, it suggests the querent has a unique advantage in the situation and they need to make the most of it.' 

3. Enjoy this gift - Eight of Wands. This card suggests that whatever I start in the coming months will progress swiftly. I have the gift of fast movement and swift progress. 'Often this card indicates that the querent will be involved in a number of events that could be described as synchronicity, carrying them forward in a series of coincidences that they could never have expected,' Huggens writes. 

4. Time to be serious - Ace of Pentacles. Time to be serious about good hard graft, and reminds me to cultivate, process and make use of all my resources to be applied in each situation. I'm seeing it as saying don't get ahead of yourself. Be methodical. First things first. 

5. Welcome advice - The Empress. The Empress advises me to nurture myself, my life, my surroundings, my projects, and other people. She advises me to indulge my creative impulses, which, like childbirth, require sometimes painful effort to reap the rewards. 

6. Beware what lies in the shadows - 3 of Swords. Huggens makes an interesting point about this card. It is not the card of personal heartbreak, which is better reflected in 5 of Cups. Rather, this card represents the suffering of existence, 'the profound sadness felt when seeing the state of the world and the suffering of mankind,' as Huggens puts it. It represents existential angst, a feeling with which I am quite familiar. 

7. How to improve, now that you're aware - Death. I suppose few cards confront and dispel existential angst as effectively as the Death card. Acceptance. 

8. Let it go - Five of Pentacles.  'Worry is a self-destructive behaviour that perpetuates the cycle of lack and loss,' writes Huggens. 'It keeps us firmly in the past or in the future, and never in the present: we rarely worry about this moment, right now; we only ever worry about something that has happened in the past or what may or may not happen in the future. As such, worry does not allow us to take proper action in the present.' So clearly I need to let go of worry about lack, loss, deprivation, hardship, instability, etc. 

Interesting.

Here we go again

An opportunity has come up to do my current role full time in a different location. It would mean moving to a new town and stepping into an environment in transition. I thought I'd draw a few cards:

1. What are my chances of securing this post?
2. How will I feel about working in this role in this new environment?
3. What are the major challenges I would face if successful?
4. How would I overcome them?
5. What would be the biggest rewards of taking this role?
6. How would taking this job affect the overall quality of my life?

That is a pretty definitive answer to the first question! My chances of getting the job are quite good, as I have drawn the Six of Staffs, the traditional card of triumph depicting the homecoming of a victorious military leader.

The forward momentum of the first card, in which the figure has his left arm raised toward the rest of the spread, continues in the next card, Page of Staffs. In this role, I would feel energised and enthusiastic. The Page of Staffs in the Byzantine Tarot is a messenger, and this card implies that I would be busy following orders and acting as a go-between. This is actually in line with my job description and comes as no surprise. I do like the fact that Page has youthful energy; it implies a freshness. However, it also denotes a naivete and so it's possible I might bumble through the role oblivious to certain undercurrents -- and that's okay with me, too.

The third card continues to face right into the spread; this time the Knight of Cups holds the cup aloft -- toward the heavens? Toward his superior officer? There is a feeling of a Grail Knight about this figure, and we know what sort of life a Grail Knight led -- slogging lost through the wastelands seeking to do the impossible. Oh my! That's a big challenge to face. Perhaps the job might feel overwhelming, or I might feel that my personal commitment and dedication is not paying off in the way that I'd hoped or dreamed. I may feel called upon to 'gallant' behaviour, defending those who I feel are weaker than myself, in other words, always trying to stick up for those I supervise. I can see that.

The way to overcome this challenge is depicted in Ten of Swords. I will need to recognise lost causes and practice letting go of the fight. There is no point in carrying on with a battle that you can't win. I can see a real conflict between the Knight of Cups and the Ten of Swords here. The Knight of Cups clings fiercely to his ideals and his causes, which are quite often romantic illusions, no matter how passionately he feels about them. The Ten of Swords couldn't be a stronger message of how futile such battling would be. That is a stark warning. Do I want to get myself into a situation where I would constantly need to let go of my higher ideals, for my very survival? That's a question. But it could also be character building, in that it would involve learning to live in reality instead of illusion.

I get reinforcement for these interpretations in the next card, which answers 'What would be the biggest reward of taking this role?' Answer: Fortitude. The Byzantine Tarot depicts the Bible story of Jacob, who encounters a stranger (who in fact is an angel) and they engage in a wrestling match that lasts all night. Jacob gets him in a hold and won't let the angel go until he receives a blessing. The encounter leaves Jacob with a limp, but also a name change -- to Israel, and he becomes the patriarch of the Israelites. This has a different feel to the traditional image of the maiden overcoming the lion through the strength of her gentleness! In this Strength (or Fortitude) card, the man pays a price for his reward, and his strategy does not involve gentleness but iron will.

And as to how the job would affect the overall quality of my life, I have drawn Judgement! So the new job would pretty much change everything. It would be a transformation. It's interesting, though, that this card depicts the other side of the coin of Judgement Day that you don't see in RWS -- not everyone who rises gets into paradise. I take this to mean at the very least that the changes will be profound, and both good and bad.

'First and last tag' -- My first and last (latest) tarot and oracle decks

This post is in response to Ellen at Greylady's Hearth. It started with Kelly at The Truth in the Story -- share your first and latest tarot deck and oracle deck, and other non-card divination systems.

My First and Last Tarot Decks

My first tarot deck was actually the Osho Zen Tarot, but I got rid of that a long time ago. I consider Universal Waite Tarot to be my 'first' tarot (in photo on right). It is a Rider-Waite-Smith 'clone', and considered by some to be a 'prettier' version of the RWS. I am very fond of this deck. It seemed so BIG to me when I bought it, but now you see the deck on the left is much larger, and when I unpackaged it the other day, I thought the cards were relatively small. I like big cards. 

When I bought the Universal Waite, I had lots of fears to overcome. It all seems so silly to me now. I had to reconcile myself to the pentacles. They looked like Satanic symbols to me. I had to confront my fear of the Devil card. Was tarot Satanic? Would I go to hell? I wondered this, even though I'd given up a belief in hell! What about all I'd been taught as a child about divination? 'You shall not eat anything with the blood, nor practice divination or soothsaying,' Leviticus 19:26. 'As for the person who turns to mediums and spiritists, I will also set My face against that person,' Leviticus 20:6, 'There shall not be found among you anyone who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who casts a spell, or a medium, or a spiritist, for whoever does these things is detestable to the Lord,' Deuteronomy 18:9-11. Well, there are just so many Scriptures against divination. I bought a tarot deck out of curiosity and because I had a journal that had a page in it for a 'card spread', and I was like, 'What's a card spread?' That's how this whole thing got started. I wasn't even a practising Christian when I bought the deck, I was practising Buddhism and just discovering Sanskrit mantras, but all my childhood training came flooding back the first time I saw a card with pentacles on it! But then I looked up the word 'divination' and found this definition, which I wrote in my journal (I just went back and found it) -- 'perception by intuition; instinctive foresight'. Well, how could that be a bad thing? So I started using the cards, and reading about them. I could not have known that my research into tarot would lead me down the path I currently walk. I am thankful for it.

The deck on the left is the Byzantine Tarot by John Matthews and Cilla Conway. It's a lovely interpretation of the tarot in the style of Byzantine art.

My First and Last Oracles

My first oracle deck is actually two decks combined, Druid Plant Oracle and Druid Animal Oracle. I always call it 'Druid Plant and Animal Oracle'. I trimmed it to borderless back when both were widely available. Now of course the Plant Oracle is nowhere to be found, so of course I wish I had one with the borders. I also wrote on the cards which seemed like a good idea at the time but now I don't like that.  I never used these decks much, because even with the writing I could never really remember what everything was supposed to mean, and now I don't use them at all. I lost all interest in herbalism and lore. They're just part of my Worthington collection. I bought a second Druid Animal Oracle to use with borders and no writing, because I have some intuitive knowledge about animals, but plants? Not really. 

My last oracle is Journey to the Goddess Realm by Lisa Porter. It is a colorful and fun goddess deck, and features a few goddesses you don't see in other decks. I mostly use goddess decks as altar decorations and this one is lovely for that. 

Other

I've pretty much abandoned divination tools other than tarot cards. I have tried runes, witch's runes, playing cards, dice, and even tried briefly to learn tea leaf reading. I scried with a mirror once and scared the bejeebers out of myself, candle-gazing gives me a migraine, and ceremonial magic just seems pompous and funny to me. I take little notice of natural omens, and have no memory for folklore about them. I do have this glass ball (I am too poor for an actual crystal ball) which can be good for staring into, particularly by candlelight. So I use this occasionally. 

Well, that was fun! I would love to hear about your first and last decks and other systems, so if you do write something or make a video, could you link to it in the comments so I can go and read or watch? 

Thanks!

Music and voice

Today I'm going to venture into the dreaded spare room and do some tidying. Not chucking -- just tidying. I will organise items, like with like. I will create piles that are not in danger of toppling onto anyone's head. I will leave a place to stand and walk. Those are my only goals. It's up to another person in the household to determine what will be chucked out, because most of the stuff belongs to the other person. This is a delicate undertaking. (This person knows I'm doing this today, of course, and has agreed to it.)

I'm using one of my new decks, a recent acquisition, Soul Cards I by Deborah Koff-Chapin (1995). The cards have no system whatsoever - no names, no numbering, and no guidebook. They are just paintings. It is entirely up to the observer to find meaning. I am drawing two cards about today's issue: challenge and gift. 

Challenge
The LWB that comes with the deck offers tips on using the cards:  'Describe what you perceive in the image without necessarily having to interpret (although interpretation happens naturally much of the time). The relationship between your perception of the image and your situation generally presents itself fairly easily. If it doesn't - and even if it does - allow the image to settle in your psyche over time.' 

I notice first the mandola, and how the neck of it spirals up like a nautilus shell, arching over the player and terminating as the head and face of a winged creature who hovers near the player and extends a palms-up gesture toward him (or her). The patterns around the player's head  are halo-,  shell-, and serpent-like, all at the same time. The winged figure curves around the kneeling player. The blue smears move like light. The yellowy-orange bits play like flame. The face of the winged creature is benevolent, the player placid.

The challenge of this issue is to achieve harmony. The patterns around the player's head take on the meaning of sound waves. The sound waves become the angelic being. What am I sending out? Am I sending out messages of love and harmony, or discord and conflict? The challenge is to send out messages of love and harmony. The challenge is to create waves of acceptance, peace, and accord. This is a cycle -- just as the image shows energy emerging from the neck of the instrument which becomes the angel, who in turn goes back into the instrument, in a cycle. It is both creation of sound and listening to sound. So it is give and take. In fact, the player seems to be listening more than producing. Maybe he has plucked only one or two strings and is now listening to the reverberations. And this could be a message to me to do less than I might feel inclined, and wait carefully for the full effect.

The challenge is also to remember the principle of separateness. I am not my partner and he is not me. The instrument reminds me of 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran: 'Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone, though they quiver with the same music.' The challenge is to allow my note and his note to be different. The challenge is to play in harmony rather than dissonance, and to always remember -- my note is never going to be the same as his note, no matter how loudly we play them. Smashing the mandola against a wall will never change that.


 Gift
The first things I notice in this card are the faces. They are distressed. They are howling. Their necks writhe toward the same point. Patterns emerge from the sides of their heads, fluttering like dead leaves or wings. The faces use them to call extra attention to themselves. They want to be frightening. They want to be heard.

The figure out of whose head these apparitions emerge stands shirtless, eyes closed, with a small smile on his (or her) face. The voices shout. They howl. The figure smiles. One of the faces curls around the figure's head and howls into his ear. The figure smiles. He is unperturbed. There is dark and light. In truth, a couple of the faces seem to be howling out of duty or habit. Still loud, though. They have a job to do. The figure smiles on.

The gift of this situation is to move placidly amidst the noise of my own yammering internal voices. There will be voices in my head telling me things. I will be told all sorts of things about myself, about my partner. There will be voices telling me stories about what will happen in the future, what I should have done before this, what I should do next. They will tell me stories about how this other person thinks, how he feels, how he will react, and they will tell me how wrong he is, how right I am, what I should think and feel and how I should react. I will hear elaborate and wrenching tales of woe and oppression and resentment, reasons why I should feel angry, hurt, unvalued, annoyed, reasons why I should feel righteous, virtuous, and correct. So many stories, all a fiction. All a version of truth, but not the truth. The gift of the situation is to move through them and dismiss them, like the figure in the card.

It is a daunting Challenge and a formidable Gift.

Time to get started.

My trimmed Haindl is clean again

^^4 of Stones before cleaning...

A few years ago I bought a jumbo Haindl and trimmed it. Then for some unknown reason I decided to write key phrases on the cards. It didn't work out as I'd hoped and so into the box the deck went and hasn't seen the light of day for many a moon.

Today I tried using surgical spirit and cotton wool to wipe the writing off -- and it worked! So I'm pleased to say, the Haindl Tarot will be back in action!

This post is for Kelly at The Truth in the Story. It was her You Tube about the Haindl that inspired me to get mine out. Watch it here: First Impressions - Haindl Tarot .




So Kelly, here are the trimmed Haindl cards, thrown out across the floor. I really like this deck borderless! ---

Trimmed jumbo Haindl -- freshly cleaned of handwritten key phrases!

And this will give you an idea of the size--

Playing card, yellow box Rider, trimmed jumbo Haindl 

Deck Review: Byzantine Tarot by John Matthews and Cilla Conway

This isn't one of my usual product reviews, more of just a first glimpse. I can do a more in-depth one later. 

I tend to like the decks of John Matthews.  I do not own them all but the ones I have are here to stay:

The Arthurian Tarot
The Grail Tarot: A Templar Vision
The Camelot Oracle (the system as described by Matthews is overcomplicated, but you can ignore all that)
The Green Man Tree Oracle
The Wildwood Tarot (though to be fair that is mostly Mark Ryan's work)
The Sherlock Holmes Tarot...

...and now The Byzantine Tarot,with Cilla Conway. Of those listed above, my favourite is Grail Tarot, and I believe that the Byzantine Tarot is a good companion to it. One thing I appreciate in John Matthews' decks is scholarship. When Matthews creates a deck, it's not just RWS with slightly different costumes. It's tarot iconography as it fits in a particular paradigm or context. Not every single card is a dead ringer, but in the main, it works. (Robert Place has a similar skill). In this case, the context is Byzantium.

The Byzantine Empire began in 330 AD when the Roman emperor Constantine I dedicated a 'new Rome' on the site of the ancient Greek colony, Byzantium (modern Istanbul, the largest city in Turkey). This eastern half of the Roman empire lasted another 1000 years after the western half crumbled in 476 AD, and it spawned a rich tradition of art, literature and learning, until it fell to the Ottoman Turks in 1453 during the reign of Constantine XI.

Byzantine art is almost entirely concerned with religious expression; specifically Christian theology.  The style evolved into a rigid tradition that is sophisticated, uniform and anonymous. Religious iconography in the form of mosaics, as well as fresco wall-paintings, are probably what most people think of when they think of 'Byzantine art'. And so in this tarot deck, we see the majors expressed in the style of mosaic icons, and the minors reminiscent of frescoes.

Majors - Byzantine Tarot

Majors - Byzantine Tarot 

Aces - Byzantine Tarot (sorry about the missing border) 

A few minors - Byzantine Tarot 

There is an elemental swap you'll notice in the aces -- Swords are Fire and Wands are Air. Interesting choice.

Overall it's a nice pack! I like it. :)

If you like Christian iconography and Byzantine art, you can't really go wrong here.

Courtesy

'Suppose in taking a break from my whirling thoughts, I settle down quietly to think about the word "courtesy". It means far more than mere politeness; you can be polite without an iota of personal love. Courtesy, on the other hand, is an expression of love, warm concern for the other person's comfort, peace of mind and well-being. Even giving directions to a confused stranger can be an act of courtesy, if I take the trouble to be explicit and reassuring. 

'The practice of courtesy in the home gives us many opportunities each day to convey our love in little ways. Yet we often overlook it in routine contacts with those we love.
'I will take every opportunity to be courteous to those nearest me, as well as those outside my orbit. The warmth and kindness of courtesy will take the sting out of resentments, and give dignity and importance to the members of my household, making them feel secure and loved. 

'Courtesy makes a less troublesome game of life. Misunderstandings melt away; it gets rid of the avoidable obstructions.'

-- The Courage to Change: One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II, p 159

The question today is, how can we show more courtesy to those we encounter, those in our intimate circle and those with whom we merely cross paths for a moment? Why is this important? How does it help us?

The answer is The Sun. It shows a faery woman inviting us to join the spiral dance toward the single tree atop a hill, which is crowned by a glowing faery glyph, the sun. We can show more courtesy to those in our intimate circle by sharing with them in the joyous aspects of existence, rather than the dark. At the risk of sounding trite, be nice. Talk about nice things. Don't dwell on gloom. Not every conversation has to solve the world's problems, or pinpoint the little things that annoy you about life, the world, and any one person in particular.

Why is this important? Dreamer Prince, aka Knight of Swords. I have been drawing this card a lot lately. The verse accompanying this card is:

He dreams of more than any could know
But they are seeds he cannot sow
His winged thoughts fly upon the air
Never to land within a prayer...

It seems important to practice courtesy, to 'be nice', because the Dreamer Prince can get very caught up in his thoughts. His tremendous sense of right and wrong can lead him to behave quite rashly. He can see battles where no battle is required, or even possible. Of all the courts, he is most likely to tilt at windmills. In the Anna K Tarot, for example, he is depicted as vigorously attacking a strawman -- an enemy that exists only in his imagination. The Dreamer Prince suggests that it is important to show courtesy to avoid seeing everyone and everything as some sort of mental adversary, as a threat to his personal 'liberty' or integrity.

Courtesy to others helps us enjoy our lives and our relationships.

When the whole shines full and round
The three blithe dancers may be found
Skipping for the joys of life
For friendship and forgotten strife...

Perhaps the 'three blithe dancers' are mind-body-spirit. When we work to create an atmosphere of kindness and courtesy, when we resist the urge to indulge the Dreamer Prince in his righteous battles, we create conditions that allow for strife to be forgotten, and simple joys to be experienced.

In summary, this advice comes as no surprise. The surprise is how easy it is to forget the obvious logic of all this. When we are so close, so intimate with people, for some strange reason it is easy to forget to show them basic courtesy. I've mentioned before that I think this probably has to do with how we treat ourselves. As we get close to someone, we come to think of them as part of ourselves, an extension of ourselves. And if we have a habit of being mean to ourselves, expecting too much of ourselves, being cruel to ourselves -- well, we do it them, too.

Let's stop.

Altar-ation

It was a sunny day today and even though much of my day was quite fraught with emotion and turmoil, I did accomplish a lot. I think it's very therapeutic, particularly when aspects of life seem to be spinning out of control, to bring some order into your world by tidying, organising, and making a ritual of creating a new altar. 

I started with the cupboard (aka closet) in the hallway. It's a combination towel storage, medicine chest and clothes hamper. (There's not a lot of space in this flat). I started by taking all the towels out and refolding them so they fit nice and tidy in the shelf. The next thing I knew something came over me and I had to drag everything out of the closet, sweep and dust it, put it all back, then I pulled all the drawers out and dumped the contents into the hall floor and started sorting. You would not believe how much junk I threw out -- half a black sack! Expired medicine, useful items like the instruction manual to electric kettles and old phone books, you name it, it was in there. I then got the bright idea of labelling everything (I have tubs with labels on them in the kitchen, and that really works well). So I labelled it all up. I did the same thing to the plastic drawers in the bathroom. This took the better part of the morning. In the process, I found the hammer (I thought we had one, but I haven't seen it in years), a box of small nails and some pictures I've been meaning to hang for the last couple hundred years. So I actually hung them. (The owl over the altar space, we actually just bought yesterday. Isn't it awesome?) 

I'm trying to introduce colour into my life. Year before last, I went on holiday with my friend Chloe of Inner Whispers, and I told her then that I love colour and sparkly things, and would like to wear colour. 'And yet you are wearing grey and black,' she pointed out. We were looking at beautiful, long flowing wildly coloured dresses in a shop in Matlock Bath, and I was wearing a grey smock top and navy blue leggings. The intervening months and years haven't been the most conducive to personal expression. They've been mostly about survival. That's why I was away from this blog for so many months. I got rid of so much of my stuff and was so close to packing in my entire personal practice. As it is, it's just evolving. And part of that is getting some light and colour into my home. I've chucked out the wretched blinds and hung net curtains in the living room and bedroom. I removed the cream coloured duvet set and bought a patchwork pattern one. I had my heart set on some lime green curtains but alas, ended up with taupe (no green available). Still, there's a lot of colour in the bedroom now compared to how it was before. 

Then I went out to try to find some new trousers...I was unsuccessful in getting new work trousers, but I did get two pairs of leggings, a bright yellow tunic top with blue flowers on it, a T-shirt, and a pair of those patterned trousers that are popular at the moment in a blue, black and white print. They're super long. I may have to get some platforms. At my height, platforms will put me at 6' tall. That ought to make me feel powerful! (If I don't break my ankle). 

When I got back from shopping, I cleaned out the closet of all the clothes that no longer fit (a lot of them -- I've packed on a lot of weight in my dark months) -- another black sack full of junk gone from this flat. Clearing out is good.

This week I'm using Tarot of the Sidhe (Emily Carding, Schiffer, 2010). For today, I've drawn Dreamer Prince and Maker King:

He dreams of more than any could know

But they are seeds he cannot sow, 

His winged thoughts fly upon the air

Never to land within a prayer...

All he has he makes his own,

Carpenter of his own throne, 

Smith who forges his own crown, 

And earns his status and renown. 

 -- Emily Carding, Tarot of the Sidhe LWB

She changes everything she touches

The Wicca Deck by Sally Morningstar

The Lady 

High note: All that you need is present
Low note: Issues of disempowerment are highlighted

The companion book to The Wicca Deck suggests that this card, The Lady, is the equivalent of the tarot High Priestess. Let's take a look at her.

A barefoot young woman with flowing dark hair stands on a green hill, barefoot. She wears a blue tunic with bell sleeves and a rope tied loosely round her waist. The full moon creates a halo behind her head. Above her floats a pentacle, at her feet a lit candle, in her left hand a sword, in her right hand a cup. On her left side, a swan swims in a pink sea, and there is a dove and pink and white roses. On her right side, a furrowed field, grain ready for harvest, and a honeybee. Over her head, a branch entwined with ivy, on which perches a crow. Very witchy, very Wicca.

The companion book says, 'The Lady signifies that you may have been feeling differently recently. New blood seems to be coursing through your veins, and you are changing as a result. It is possible to embody any characteristic we choose...The Lady indicates that you have the ability to stand up for yourself, even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes. You are the power behind your reality.'

I believe The Lady here is more 'Lady' of neopaganism than High Priestess of tarot. The Lady (as in 'Lady and Lord' or 'Goddess and Horned One') is more a combination of High Priestess and Empress. The Goddess of course is associated with the earth's constant, endless self-renewal. It reminds me of the Kore chant:

Aradia

Wicca Deck by Sally Morningstar 

Aradnia 
High note: Claim your birthright -- success awaits
Low note: Review your personal opinions and beliefs 

I have four meetings today, two of them key to the issue I've been fretting over lately. I'd like to have a close look at this card today. The companion book suggests that 'high spiritual powers' are acknowledging my efforts. Who knows about that, but these lines are welcome: 'You will receive all the help you need. Claim your power. Stand alone for a while, if necessary; you will not be alone for long.'

I think the most valuable advice I can take from this card today comes from its 'Low Note', telling me to 'review my personal opinions and beliefs.' Most days this week, cards remind me that I must be on guard against closed-mindedness.

The Aradia card has the keyword 'Heritage', because she has come to be seen as the foundation (or a key figure at least) in the development of modern pagan witchcraft, or Wicca. This is entirely down to an American folklorist called Charles Godfrey Leland, who in 1899 published a book called 'Aradia', which purports to represent the publication of a single manuscript, the Vangel or gospel of a secret religion of witches. He claimed to have received the manuscript from an Italian witch called Maddelena, who disappeared never to be seen again after that. In this book, goddess Diana mates with Lucifer after he has fallen from heaven, and produces Aradia, who is sent by her mother to earth to teach witchcraft to the oppressed masses  and to instruct her followers to meet naked in wild places at each full moon to worship Diana, hold orgies and take a supper of crescent-shaped cakes. They should continue these meetings until all of their upper-class oppressors are dead. The rest of the Vangel is a book of spells and invocations.

In Triumph of the Moon, Dr. Ronald Hutton examines three possibilities about the origin and authenticity of this book: 1) The book is indeed a witch's gospel, which he asserts is unlikely given the Roman Catholic church's diligence in detecting secret societies and heresy, 2) The book was concocted by Maddalena to satisfy her employer, cobbled together from unknown sources, 3) The book was the concoction of Charles Godfrey Leland himself. Leland actually did have a reputation for being an 'unusually unreliable scholar,' as Hutton puts it. To read the full details about this book, see pages 143-149 of Triumph of the Moon by Ronald Hutton. He himself says, 'So much space has been devoted [here] to Aradia because it was to be one of the most important texts of modern pagan witchcraft.' In any case, there is no other evidence that a religious cult holding these beliefs ever existed in Italy (or anywhere else). From Roman times to present, there is only evidence to suggest that some people believed in a supernatural being called Diana and some also believed that witches prayed to her and to Herodias (the queen who secured the head of John the Baptist in the Bible; Aradia is the Italianized version of Herodias), and that witches met at night to plot evil. The other details appear only in Leland's book.

None of that detracts from the relevance of the message of the card today. In fact it may reinforce it: 'Review your personal opinions and beliefs.' Gotcha.

The affairs of wizards

Today's card has some pretty strong key words: self-importance, impeccability, egotism. Not for nothing did Tolkien warn, 'Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.'

I was surprised by the use of the word 'subtle' there, so I looked it up: difficult to perceive or understand, clever and indirect, not showing one's real purpose, having or showing skill at understanding things that are not obvious. In other words, don't mess with wizards because they don't like to be messed with and they are always going to be one step ahead of you and you won't like it when they finally turn their attention to get rid of the irritation -- you.

We have to be careful in our daily lives not to be like wizards, tempted by ego or personal agenda to use our powers and influence in ways not conducive to the greater good. We may not realise it but we have the power to affect the lives of those around us for good or bad. It is better to be careful of being reactive, and to consider the consequences of our actions, no matter how tempting it may be to go around zapping the world with our thunderbolts.

'Current circumstances may be a test to see just how much spiritual wisdom you deserve to carry,' the companion booklet warns.

So we see the wizard, drawing up the energy of his powers into the spiral. He can cast it however he wishes. How will he use that power? We see a stormy sky vs a sunny sky, sunlit hills with a clear, silver path vs a lonely fortress up a steep and narrow trail. The wizard could go in either direction, and so can we.

'Move forward with integrity,' the companion book advises.

I have a good idea what situation this is pointing to. I seem to be getting very similar messages this week. This is an important lesson for me!

Call me Georgie

Today's draw from Wicca Deck by Sally Morningstar advises me: 'Be aware of how you use your tongue in communicating with others, and guard against gossip or intrigue. Hold to your own truth and be honest. Always aspire to your greatest good.'

The card has the keyword 'Aspiration', and is said to vibrate at the throat chakra. The sword is a phallic or masculine symbol in pagan thought, and of course the sword 'cuts through' things, so represents fierce energy. The symbolic sword cuts through confusion and brings clarity to situations. But as the companion book wisely notes, we can choose to cut through confusion with the Sword of Silence, or through frustration with the Sword of Patience.

I really like the idea of exercising self-control as wielding a sword, vanquishing a foe. Perhaps the dragon in the card is confusion, frustration, or obfuscation. I can take up the sword like St George and slay the dragon with Silence or Patience! I like that very much.

In SMART Recovery, it is suggested that we imagine our irrational beliefs and the Problem of Instant Gratification (also known as 'PIG') as a foe, and ourselves as a hero doing battle with them using the tools of REBT. For example, that little voice urging you with thoughts like, 'She resents you and wishes you had never come to work here,' is Darth Vader, to whom you can stand up like Luke Skywalker, activate your light sabre and say, 'Hold on, PIG. What are you up to now? What lies are you telling me?' Then you ATTACK with powerful disputes and counter statements: 'What evidence is there that she resents me? Is there a universal law that co-workers must have unconditional positive regard for one another? Even if she does feel that way, does that have any bearing on your working day or your life outside of work? There is no reason to think she resents you, but if she does, she has a right to her own thoughts and feelings and in any case, what she thinks and feels has nothing to do with you.'

All of this internal snicker-snacking can be going on internally while in the 'real world', I am using the Sword of Silence and the Sword of Patience to cut through confusion and frustration. The Sword of Silence will help me listen instead of talking, will prevent me from reacting with PIG (Problem of Instant Gratification), and the Sword of Patience will help me give others the space and time needed to express themselves, and will give me the space and time to come to some level of understanding of their perceptions and ideas.

Okay, this is good advice. I go forth into my day thinking of swords and dragons.