Be your own Valentine

Several bloggers have done a self love spread, so I thought I'd give it a go, too. I saw it on Greylady's Hearth.

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-----4------1-----5------

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1. Relationship to Self

2. Admirable qualities - the parts of your self that are easy to love

3. Disowned self - shadow aspects

4. Release - judgments or expectations to let go of in order to be more loving to yourself

5. More love - something you can do to nurture yourself right now

The Love Tarot, Liz Dean 2005

The Love Tarot is a majors only deck that I got in a trade a few months back. Thought this would be a nice spread to try it with. Wham! Big cards here. (The deck adds three extra cards: Faith, Hope and Charity, and one of these turned up in my spread.)



My relationship to Self is characterized by the Devil. I think this has to do with my concept of myself at the moment (and for the last few years) as being trapped in the clutches of addiction -- in my case, food addiction. And also temptation -- in my case, temptation to laziness. I am quite judgmental of myself, see myself as being either good or bad (mostly bad) and in general, despite my best intentions, do tend to see my behaviour as, for lack of a better word, somehow 'sinful'. Also, there is a distinct air of rebellion in my relationship to self. I set good intentions, and then rebel against them. Silly, self-defeating, and certainly devilish.

Well, that's a brilliant start! Let's see what I've got that's admirable. Judgment. My admirable quality, then, is that I can hear the call to change. Boy, can I ever. I have been hearing it and hearing it. I can hear it in my own life, but I'm one of those people, I guess, who have a high tolerance for loud noises, like someone who can sit by an open window with a car alarm going off for two hours and never make a word of complaint. I hear it but am very SLOW to act. I can hear it in other people's lives, too, and I do believe I give good counsel about ways to recognize the call to change and also encouragement to follow through on it. But as a personality trait, what is Judgment? I guess it could be seen as someone who is always making plans for the future, wanting to improve, to do better, a seeker. I would say that's true of me. I just wonder about my ability (or willingness) to follow through, is all.

The aspect of myself that needs more love and acceptance is Tower. Now, that is apt. Definite pattern here. I know change is called for, I hear the call for it, but what I can't seem to embrace is the actual change itself. It's hard to embrace the Tower -- it's a rather prickly character. What is there in the Tower that could be a personality trait? Perhaps it is my tendency to overreact to things or to see things from the darkest perspective. Now how could that be a good thing? I suppose when it comes to planning for worst case scenarios, I'm your man. I suppose I could try to embrace my 'What's the worst that could happen' abilities, because believe me, if you want someone who can quickly brainstorm a list of the worst things that could happen, few are as equipped for it as me! If I were to accept this aspect of myself rather to reject it, I wonder how it could manifest in good ways in my life. 

I need to release High Priest. He is the symbol of religion, tradition, institutions, instruction, etc. I have been thinking an awful lot lately about creeds and beliefs. I have been questioning my beliefs -- and all beliefs. I feel that I am entering a period of deep questioning, and rejection of religion in general. I am feeling quite soured on religion of all types. I feel there may be a very humanistic phase coming on for me. I've been having a strong aversion to all sorts of 'spirituality' or religious beliefs in general lately. Hard to characterize, but it just all seems like so much nonsense to me. Perhaps a big Tower event is fomenting within me, and rejection of the Hierophant may be part of that.

Finally, the best way to love myself is with Hope. The card shows a crown and an anchor, to show that Hope hovers within reach, but remains grounded in reality. I like that. I can get into that. :)