Rise above

What is the most helpful thing I can do for myself today? 

Ancien TdM, Grimaud 1973

Hew down troubled thoughts and give them as an offering to your inner knowing. 

Thoughts that seek to destroy you should be met by the serene indifference of your inner knowing.

The 8 of Swords is all about troubled thoughts. The number 8 itself stand for 'ideas or thoughts of the mind', and Swords 'are the troubles that plague every man'. So the 8 of Swords is the perfect card to represent overthinking, particularly obsessive worries about the 'troubles that plague every man' -- thoughts about things like losing a source of income, having a catastrophic illness, or someone dropping dead, contemplating your own mortality, right down to smaller universal troubles like never being sure you're doing the right thing, or looking back on the past and wishing things had gone differently, all of these are 'troubles that plague every man'. They happen to everyone. The 8 of Swords represents worrying about these things. In fact, the Grimaud LWB says, 'This card has powerful undercurrents and possesses no meaning in the abstract sense. Heavy and overpowering, it marks despair because of the evil undercurrents that it attracts.' Wow. We can all justifiably worry about these things. But does it do us any good?

In this story of the cards, even though Death is facing the High Priestess, I don't think he's going for her. I think he's making obeisance to her. It looks like he's just chopped up worries from the 8 of Swords and is looking to her for approval. She certainly looks on at him with a benign and pleasant expression. They see eye to eye. So it could be that he's destroyed the overthinking and is turning it over to the higher mind, the aspect of self that exists above the ego. That's one way to read the story of the cards.

Another way to look at this draw is that in fact 8 of Swords and Death ARE working together -- the overwhelming thoughts and Death have teamed up to try to destroy you. But they find themselves squared up against a more powerful force than themselves -- inner knowing. In this story told by the cards, Death uses the 8 of Swords as his primary weapon, wreaks havoc in the mind, turns toward the High Priestess looking rather exhausted and hoping to go for her next, but nope. She is wise to his tricks. She looks mildly at him. She even looks somewhat amused by him. He can stand there panting and clutching his scythe all he likes. She knows that while she's locked eyes with him, he doesn't have the strength in his scrawny arm to raise it against her.  He'd just better hope she doesn't decide to lift her hand from her book against him! But she won't have to. And that's another way to read the story of these cards.

That is the most helpful thing I can do for myself today. Rise above troubled thoughts that believe they can destroy me. They can't. I cannot be destroyed -- not even by myself. No, not even if my thoughts have convinced me that they can. They can't. Not if I look them in the face and let them know I see them. They can't get the real 'I'. Not the higher me.

Line reading with 7 of Cups

7 of Cups today from CBD Tarot (not shown in image. Image is from Google images, an unidentified deck.)

It's been a rough couple of days. My emotions have been very volatile, explained by hormone fluctuation, the pressures of a house buy and the reality of a mortgage that possibly extends longer than my employability.

7 of Cups is troubled emotion or relationship(s). That pretty much sums it up my last few days. It's been stormy round here, people!

To expand on this card, I drew two more: 2 of Coins and 8 of Swords. Ideas and plans for balancing finances. Yes again.

To read the story of the cards, here are a few different possible interpretations:

--Troubled emotions/relationships caused by overthinking the balance of money.

--Troubled emotions/relationships require schemes for getting to grips with the reality.

--Troubled emotions/relationships find balance (become grounded) through careful analysis.

--A financial partnership is stormy but can be balanced by a rational approach.

No matter how you slice it, the message is clear. Get a grip. This looks like a job for CBT, some research, and some very flexible short term and long term planning. And a bit of faith and trust.

Waiting game

Today's card is the 8 of Swords. (I did the draw with Jean Noblet Tarot, but I found this unidentified card image on Google search because I couldn't be asked to use the scanner this morning.)

The card depicts a central symmetrical flower, surrounded by many layers of arched shapes. It is either protected or imprisoned, depending on how you want to look at it. Either way, movement for the central flower is not a possibility.

I am similarly at an impasse in my house buy. Until we make our case to the estate agent and find out if the vendor is willing to negotiate price, we cannot  move forward with purchase of the property. In typical fashion, my mortgage broker is going on holiday for the next three weeks, so it may be either wait for him to come back, or put wheels in motion ourselves with the estate agent. I hope to speak to him today about this, as he goes on holiday after today.

One of my favourite websites to refer to for further insights to a card is Angel Paths, where this affirmation is offered for the 8 of Swords:

'I skilfully direct my energies into the things that will make the most difference.' 

Angel Paths advises: 'Don't waste your energy hacking away at something that may be better cleared up tomorrow. Rely on the idea that things will ease off, and that you will deal better with them for not having wasted hours on them today.'

So it looks like there's nothing more I can do here, and my energies today would be better focused elsewhere...

Free your mind and the rest will follow: 8 of Swords

Who's tied herself up with her own thought life, then? Could it be...me??

You've got to hand it to Pamela Colman Smith, if she came up with the concept for this card herself, she deserves to be remembered forever for this card alone. It has to be one my favourites in the deck because its message so blatantly obvious.

There she is, bound and blindfolded and in an impossible situation! She's surrounded by swords! She's all tied up! She can never escape! There's no one to help her, she's doomed.

And yet -- there's a flipping citadel nearly within shouting distance behind her. Her bindings are practically sliding off her. Her blindfold is so askew one wiggle would give her some vision. And that horrible circle of swords is only there on two sides. Yeah, it's a trap all right. A trap made of delusions.

BUT. If she doesn't take some sort of action to take stock of her situation and remove herself from it, when the tide comes in, she could very possibly drown. Drown, even though she was never in any real peril beyond her own imaginings.

Who's to say how she got into this situation? It's pretty hard to blindfold and tie up yourself, so it could well be that whatever delusion she's trapped by was not self-created. Maybe she was taught things that created entrapping thoughts. Maybe she was lied to. Maybe she was gaslighted! Maybe she was fed messages all her life by her own culture that have made her feel disempowered.

People lie. But that doesn't mean we have to drown in their lies. People hold erroneous beliefs. That doesn't mean we have to drown in their erroneous beliefs.

Are you going to try to wriggle free of your programming today? Or keep listening to the bastards who are making you feel crazy, trapped, helpless, disempowered, confused, useless and paralysed with fear? Your choice.

Magical working

So about my spell. At the London Tarot Festival I attended a Tarot Magic workshop conducted by my friend, Chloe McCracken. Chloe and I have similar ideas about magic, and a similar approach to using tarot cards for spellcasting, so I was on familiar ground in her workshop (which I would highly recommend, by the way). We were asked to think of an area we would like to change, and to work on this layout:

1 - The Situation/Issue                        3 - Energy Needed                     2 - Desired Outcome

I have often used this layout both for tarot readings and for spell work; it is called a 'bridge' layout, because the card in the middle serves as the bridge to get you from where you are (1) to where you want to be (2).

I decided that what I'd like right now is 'motivation to return to exercise and healthy eating.' We then went through our cards selecting what card best represents our situation/issue. I settled on 8 of Swords, because I reasoned that it is my thoughts/attitude that keeps me trapped in this situation, and that I could certainly get myself out of it -- if I could break free of my self-imposed bindings. (I didn't yet realise what those were, but I was soon to find out!)

For desired outcome, I tried drawing for it, but I got a series of discouraging cards that to me were telling me now is not the right time to work a spell on this topic: Hanged Man, 10 of Wands, Death, Emperor. I gave up on drawing and just went through the deck and selected 7 of Pentacles, with the rationale that a good outcome would be the patience to keep going with a program that is progressive. For the middle card, energy needed, I couldn't select a card. If I knew what energy I needed to succeed, I guess I wouldn't need to resort to magic or tarot to solve this problem! So I decided to draw for it.

I shuffled the cards and fanned them out face down, closed my eyes and moved my hand above them slowly, feeling for that small tug of energy that would lead me to the right card. I drew Ace of Wands and laid it in the middle.

Ace of Wands! Oh! I don't need to 'return' to any program, I realised. I need something completely fresh. This clarified the 8 of Swords to me. I am trapped in thinking that what worked for me before is appropriate now. And believing that, I have become disappointed and discouraged with myself that I can't do the workouts that I did ten years ago, and that I have no interest in the kind of eating program I was on ten years ago. The Ace of Wands told me that I don't need to redo what I did before -- in fact, doing that is the exact opposite of what I should be doing. This also clarified all those odd 'desired outcome' cards. If I tried to do what I did before, the outcome would be unsuccessful, a burden, etc.

This of course meant that 7 of Pentacles no longer made sense in my spell. So I decided to draw for it. I repeated my process for drawing a card and drew -- 3 of Wands. This reinforced my belief that the cards were telling me to open myself to new ways of thinking and new ways of eating and new types of exercise. I must let go of the past and look to the future, see what's out there, see what is right for me NOW, rather than trying to repeat what I did before. This might sound obvious, but I actually never thought of it. I had just been telling myself, 'I know how to do this. I've done it before. I just need to do it again. Why can't I do it again?' And I was trapped in this circle, have been trapped here, for quite some time. So I did need the cards to wake me up to the possibility that there is more than one way to do this!

We were then asked to make a few notes on a ritual and to start a to-do list of practical actions to take in support of our spell. We ran out of time fast! But I came to some illuminating conclusions as a result of this simple exercise. My notes from the workshop:

I've been ruminating about this draw and this spell all week. I'm still pondering my approach to the spell, but my altar is now set up, and I am feeling ready this weekend to continue working on my practical actions list and to take the spell forward. 

Today, I thought it would be interesting to draw from the Devas of Creation about this spell. As I shuffled, this card lept from the pack and landed face down on the floor:

 It is the Deva of the Valley (Devas of Creation, Cilla Conway 2013). The card reinforces my softly-softly approach, my need to be gentle with myself and to take my time in this working. 'The Deva of the Valley indicates that we will find a place that nurtures, supports and protects us,' says the companion book. 'The Deva is here to show that everything is possible. It's a soft, fertile place of healing.'

I have a to-do list that begins with clearing away the old to make way for new discoveries. That is why I am not creating a dream board before I start this working. The dream board will be created as I discover each new technique and idea to incorporate into my new program of movement and nutrition. But I do have a central image now -- I will start to collect pictures of rainbows.

(ETA: I just found this old post about this very topic -- from two years ago! Examining Influences.)

(ETA again: Thursday 16 July is the New Moon, and a Blue Moon. The New Moon is in Cancer, and its associated is Chariot and Queen of Cups -- so an auspicious time for a spell about new starts, I should think!)

Temporarily trapped but on the right path

It's Friday at last and today's card from Legend: Arthurian Tarot is 8 of Swords, Guenevere at the Stake. Of course the first thing I notice is that she isn't surrounded by swords, but at least there is an inset showing eight swords, so that's better than nothing. Why is Guenevere being chained to the stake? Because in the medieval mind, for a queen to commit adultery was considered treason and punishable by death. Treason, for a marital infidelity. The person of the king was the very land and nation itself, and if his body were betrayed, the land and nation was betrayed. So, though Arthur did his best to overlook and keep secret his knowledge of Lancelot and Guenevere's affair, once it was made public the matter was out of his hands (apparently). Ferguson in her companion book blames this situation on the 'new religion' (clearly she's been influenced by 'Mists of Avalon'!) Lancelot and a band of his men hack their way to free Guenevere, but of course when he cuts down so many of his fellows of the Round Table, bitter blood feuds bent of revenge are started, and the whole fellowship falls apart, leading to the downfall of Camelot.

But anyway, the card itself usually means feeling trapped in a situation in which you are not really trapped. That would not seem to be the case here, because Guenevere is in fact trapped and bound and about to die. However...why is she about to die? She's being bound and trapped by a LAW, by an abstraction, by concepts, and those are not real, they exist only in the minds of men, and are only real for as long as enough people agree to keep believing them or upholding them. So in a way, she is trapped but not trapped. She is dying for nothing, really. No one deserves to die for what she did. (And it's my belief, that while some people might deserve to die for certain crimes, no one has the right to take another person's life, regardless of how much they deserve to die. But that's a thought for another post.)

I'm a bit trapped at the moment because I find myself caught up in an area of my work where I am unsure how to proceed, so until I get the right information, my hands are tied. I don't want to carry on with it until I find out the right answer, because if I've got it wrong, there will be less for me to undo and put right. However, like the figures in the traditional card, I can easily slip this temporary trap, and even more like Guenevere in this card, I will be rescued from this situation by an outside force (who knows the answer).

Today I am on the Deepening Path -- the path that leads to the Grail Castle. It allows for the deepening of 'awareness, emotion, triumph and joy' -- so perhaps today I will begin to feel that I am on the right track. Perhaps I will get the answers I seek today, and can finish up the work that I've been trying to figure out. 'However you perceive the sacred vessel, whatever it means to you,' says the companion book to the Camelot Oracle, 'it will always represent the brightest and best of yourself.'

That's good news for a Friday. :)

Vision in the darkness--wisdom of the owl

Roots of Asia, 2001

Wow, that's amazing. I've drawn another 8 from Roots of Asia Tarot today! That's three 8s in a row.

Today we have 8 of Swords. This card's title is 'Restricted Thinking'. You can see that the figure, though covered with winged patterns that speak of freedom to fly, has his face covered with his hands. He's trapped himself, even though the owl, the symbol of wisdom, sits wide-eyed on top of his head. This guy is not trapped at all. He's only frozen by his own illusions of being trapped; he's created his own bonds.

'The causes of our blindness and inability to fight against our pain and suffering are: the addictions to the things of our body, putting ourselves into negative environments, wasting time and energy on mindless and negative entertainment, indulging in gambling and games, association with negative companionship, habit of laziness, indulgence of the senses, extreme asceticism.' ~ Roots of Asia LWB

You may notice that the number of items or lessons listed in each card description corresponds to the number on the card. Eight of Swords, eight causes of 'blindness' and suffering.

The question for today is, in what way am I causing my own suffering? Am I addicted to things of the body? How do I put myself into negative environments? How have I wasted time on mindless entertainments? Have I really indulged in gambling and games? How have I been lazy, out of habit? I think we can all find answers to these questions. We are none of us perfect, nor called to be. This card does not call us to perfection, does not convict of us sin. Instead it asks to look at these harmful behaviours and habits and to recognize how they limit us, how they create suffering rather than relieve it.

This is profound work.

Ancient Italian Tarot Pairs: Day 2

The Sun                                      8 of Swords

Today's 'Embrace -- Release' pair from the Ancient Italian Tarot is The Sun and 8 of Swords. I should embrace happiness and freedom, and release feelings of being trapped or unable to help myself.

I believe this draw is telling me to allow myself to be happy, and not to brood or overthink or fret today. So I won't. Today's the day to give myself a break.

I like that I drew Sun on Sunday. :)  Maybe linking the day to the card will help me savour and enjoy the day more each week.

Musings on the Celtic Tarot: Swords

Suit of Swords--Celtic Tarot, Davis  

The first thing I notice about this suit is the arcing of lightning or electricity and its various manifestations throughout. You can see the first stirrings of it on the tip of the sword in the Ace, then the big spark jumping between sword tips in the Two. It's gone in the Three, but beginning to whirl up again behind the swords in the Four, goes a little crazy in the Five, shoots a clear steady beam in the Six, becomes a full on power storm in the Seven, then is pretty much gone in Eight, Nine and Ten. The background of those cards also appears a deeper red. Why? Looking closer, you can see that there is a ball of energy in Eight, a few glimmering pinpoints in Nine, and a few even smaller ones in Ten. Curious...what could it mean?