Judgement reading

Pamela Colman Smith Centennial Tarot, US Games

Tarot Bonkers and Chloe at Inner Whispers have both recently posted about the Judgement card, which got me thinking...what is the trumpet call in my life? How do I hear it? How will I know it? I turned to Rachel Pollack's Tarot Wisdom and found this Judgement card spread:

1. What is the hidden question of Judgement? - 9 of Cups
2. How can I answer it? - 5 of Pentacles
3. What calls me to rise up/become something new? - 2 of Pentacles
4. What can I become? - Knight of Cups
5. How can my life change? - 9 of Wands
6. What/who will change around me? - Ace of Swords
7. How am I called to answer? - 3 of Cups

To find card 1, I shuffled, looked through the deck for Judgement, and then selected the card that was under (hidden by) Judgement. I laid the Judgement card in the middle and arranged the rest as directed in Pollack's book.



The hidden question behind Judgement is self-satisfaction. What is the call that will lead me to feeling satisfied with myself, like this chap in the 9 of Cups? That is the question of Judgement for me. What will make me happy? What will it take to make me feel satisfied with myself and my life?

In order to answer the hidden question, I will have to dig deep into why I feel I'm not happy in the first place. What exactly are these misgivings represented by the 5 of Coins?  I have many fears about running out of time without finding this happiness, and I have fears about where I will live and what I will live on in my old age. We're not wealthy and we're not homeowners. There are many question marks over our future. Are these the only sources of this persistent unease?

You would think something dramatic would be the call to rise up, but here we have the work/life balance card. For me, 2 of Coins is always about equilibrium, maintaining a steady status quo. I suppose it would be akin to the Buddhist 'middle way'. 'The years are rolling by me, they rocking evenly, and I am older than I once was, and younger than I'll be, but that's not unusual. No it isn't strange, after changes upon changes we are more less the same, after changes we are more or less the same.' That's Simon & Garfunkel, from a song called 'The Boxer'. I quite like that lyric. But it's also the steady passing of days that causes within me a low-level but persistent sense of panic. Time will run out, and will I have spent it juggling a couple of stupid balls? What would be the point of that? What is the point of any of it?

Could I really ever become Knight of Cups? I suppose I could, but would I want to? I have such negative feelings about the Knight of Cups. What a drip.

Hmm, my life could change by being less wary and defensive. I suppose in many ways I am always expecting the worst. Actually, not so much that, just having this feeling of vague gloom all the time. A kind of low level unease. Could my nature ever really change so much that I no longer feel this? It's been with me as long as I can remember, like my tinnitus, a persistent tone, a constant companion.

The Ace of Swords suggests a new way of thinking. But the card position is about changes 'around' me, not changes within me. How will the thinking change around me that could lead me to becoming the Knight of Cups? It's all a bit of a puzzle. Maybe the Ace of Swords is a new tool provided by someone wise, a way to get my mind out of its well-worn grooves.

I am called to answer by 3 of Cups. Celebration, merriment. Socializing?? Me? Now that really would be a change.

I may have to return to this reading in a few days or weeks and see what new insights I have about it.