How do you pin yourself to the wall?

Thoth Tarot

Today's draw is The Hanged Man from Thoth Tarot. Here's another card that can  bid farewell to an old era. At least in the Thoth Tarot it can! I posted about it here last year: No More Martyrs.

I do feel quite put upon today. I have always resented and disliked working on weekends. A day off midweek feels like a cheat to me because my husband is at work and I just spend it on my own. It does me no good as far as spending more time with my family is concerned. And I suppose no one could feel more put upon than the figure in this card. His foot and hands are nailed to the wall, his head peeled of both his hair and possibly his ears as well! No eyes, no mouth -- he's not receiving any messages nor communicating any. His poor little winky has totally shrunk back home. (Well, it would, wouldn't it.) He appears to me to be a conduit of pain. He's almost a sort of pain lightning rod. It all channels into him and fills every cell, and there is nothing else. He is so filled with it that he may have moved beyond it to a higher place within himself. It consumes him.

Now, working on a Saturday, and even a Sunday, can't compete with that sort of pain! I'm not saying it does. BUT...we can sometimes act like it. We can treat our mundane annoyances as if they are supreme sources of pain. We can dramatize and poke and prod our little gripes until we feel like we're pinned upside to a wall. But who really did that to us? We did. 

It's funny, you know. It can be surprisingly easy to nail ourselves to the wall with our own thinking, our own interpretation of the events of our lives, of our lot. It's pretty easy to do that, but once we've pinned ourselves there, it can feel darn near impossible to unstick ourselves. Yes, it's funny like that. 

But there's a trick to it. We pinned ourselves there in our minds. It's not real. Our perception of how bloody awful it all is -- that's just a story we told ourselves. We can tell ourselves a different story. And then -- we're suddenly not pinned to the wall anymore.

I'm going to unpin myself today from this particular wall. I deserve that.